Regarding going to your IL for Christmas - I had a similar thing occur at TG. My sister had it and asked if she should call my H. I said no, I would pass on the invite and I did. But when the day came, H said that he hadn't been invited. I told him that I had passed on the invitation and told my sister that she didn't have to call. He was sick that day and didn't go anyway, but I know he regretted the excuse later.
So - go, be with your H and kids, have fun and just spend the day imagining all of the IL naked in funny socks. That will keep a smile on your face that noone else will know about!
I see it as an act of outreach from your H. You can meet him halfway. It could be another turning point for you.
I hear you when it comes to getting a break. My H didn't take kids this weekend either, but I let him know of the plans I had and left the kid duty up to him anyway.
Should my H return, I will continue to seek out my time. I have gotten to enjoy and appreciate the time alone - whether I stay home to get caught up or go on errands or go work out. That cannot change or I will lose my marbles!
Have you ever let your H know that your are a better mom and W if you get your time? I know that I didn't say it out loud and now I do.
Don't hint around about Christmas. That is playing a game that men don't understand or appreciate. Next time you see him face to face - give him a hug, say thanks for the invite and that you are looking forward to the time together.
Have a great day!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
