still separated, headed for D?

[gatsby11]

Interesting thoughts here. . . being positive is always good, that's for sure. Everything you've posted seems to give you many specific ways to be positive! And that's great.

"nutshell: nurture your H, talk less, praise him for his efforts and skills (but ignore bad behavior), and give him a lot of sex." I feel like this could work for women too!

[flowmom]

Great summary NM...and wise advice. Naive person that I was, most of those were not obvious to me.

[Babydoll]

good recap Gatsby! Need to write that down somewhere!

[newmama]

Oops- I didn't write that summary! I copied and pasted 80% of a book review on Amazon!

Gatsby, I think most of those suggestions would work for women, too, except "talk less" and I do like praise but don't need it as much as men I think- yikes I really value men and don't want to sound negative! Just being honest though- their egos are fragile it seems!

[newmama]

woo hoo- just signed up for 2 different memberships to a children's museum(with a baby play area) and our zoo! S and I will have lots of options for playing this summer and next!

[newmama]

just felt like telling someone about the pick-up interaction today.

First, WH texted me to let me know he will be working 5 days per week starting next week (he has been doing 4 ten hour days). I let him know that we could keep the schedule as is or if he had a different idea then to let me know. He will be thinking about it. (Hmmm...5 days means he will be down one "day" time period with S!)

Then I was sure to wear one of my shirts that now fits and shows my waist! Yay- it is back! So I wore that with some nice fitting jeans and cute sandals. When we arrived at the parking lot I was able to bend over for various reasons dealing with S(lol!) We chatted a little about S (I actually felt like I should initiate some stuff- I think it's ok).

I asked WH if he would be working shorter days since he will be switching to 5 days and he said he would try to on the days he had S.

He asked me if 8:30 would be fine for dropping S off. I was able to say "sure, Tonight I will be at the house so that works." HA! I swear he looked a little surprised!

Tomorrow night I will be going to a happy hour meetup, next week I go to a zoo brew, the following week I go to a baseball game...it is nice to have something every week! On the nights I don't have something I am working out and watching a movie while doing it. Or maybe hang out with my new single mom friend, J.

Ok going to check on a few threads and then work out!

[Mystik]

Just now realizing you have a new thread. Alot of useful information in your posts, now to re-read and reflect on them.

[courageous wife]

Nm!

Positive as always! Sounds like lots of fun galing coming up!

I like your meeting with H and the reasons for bending over!


Today, my D11 and I went to the local Goodwill to check out some things and I found a cute jean skirt (just above the knee) and my D11 said something like, "you are going to wear a skirt?" as I don't usually wear them and I said yeah, why not? Then she said something about flirting with Dad...I asked her what she meant by that? Then she went on about how OW wears skirts but hers was down to her ankles and not to wear that kind etc (still not sure about the flirting question and didn't probe) but THEN she said that she didn't want me to find someone else, that I had to wait for Dad. OMG! I about fell off my chair.

I have not mentioned anything about waiting or wanting H to come home basically since he filed. She asked a few more questions mostly about why Dad left and explained a little bit about Dad being depressed and she said "is he trying to be young again?" AGAIN, I about fell off my chair! It is amazing how much the kids really do see!!!!

Anyway, I shouldn't have gone off like this on your thread..I didn't mean to!!! When you wrote about what you were wearing it just reminded me of that skirt!

Have a great night!

[newmama]

Wow, CW! Of course you can reflect about your stuff on my thread, silly! My jaw dropped as I read what your daughter said:

1) to flirt with Dad (basic female weapon)

2) "wait" for Dad (because she instinctively knows he will be back- she has known him for 11 years after all!)

3)saying Dad is "trying to be young again" - aka MLC!!

I know my PMA is back in full force, but your daughter has met OW (sorry to bring that up!) and seen your H with OW (OUCH!) so her comments are ESPECIALLY interesting considering!

[newmama]

ok so WH just dropped off S...I felt relaxed and warm and caring and confident all at the same time. Wore a tank top with pj bottoms, made eye contact, smiled,even looked a little "coy" as I said "thank you" when WH handed me S' clothes and our hands brushed! I think that I finally realized that I can show caring while still putting boundaries in place. Of course it helps that I am over that 2-3 week dark period of spontaneously crying or spouting something off (to myself) in anger throughout each day!

There is a sort of freedom I feel, too. Can't place my finger on it. I have my head in the clouds but my feet are still firmly planted on earth! Don't worry.

Well here is another quote I picked up today:

"There are people you can live with, but the person you can't live without is the one you should marry."

This was not intended to promote being codependent- maybe it should be "don't want to live without" (not can't)