Last night when my W called, I did tell her say.."you know you have a warm home here with two beautiful D's and a H who loves you right?" She replied "I know."
This seems very sweet, but I would be very careful about saying it often b/c it could be a lot of pressure for her.
As far as backing off the invites....as long as she seems to cheerfully accept. The key word being "cheerful"--then that is your signal to continue. If you pick up on any attitude that she's accepting b/c you've pressed her into feeling like it's her duty, or something like that....then back off and be more sparing. If she joins you & the girls and brings a bad attitude with her....then I would not reward that with another invite right away. You'll know if she's not happy to be there. However, I don't think I would count one of her quiet times as a bad attitude.....know what I mean? But if she displays bad behavior toward you, then I certainly would back off.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
