No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[MrBond]

Thanks Sandi.

Last night when my W called, I did tell her say.."you know you have a warm home here with two beautiful D's and a H who loves you right?" She replied "I know."

For the sleepover, that was the first time we had shared a bed in over 7 months. She still doesn't stay over.

When you made the decision to stay, did you have that "trapped" feeling for awhile?

I think the main reason she hasn't done anything (come home or file for D) is fear.

She's afraid she's making the wrong decision getting M. She's afraid that she made the wrong decision with the OM. She's afraid of how the kids view her. She's afraid for her soul.

All this is what causes her to be defensive and most importantly, not take any ownership for her actions. Because if she actually "owned" up to her actions, it would make those actions that she believed to be right, all wrong. So she stays in a limbo state that causes her to be depressed.

This really is like a MLC case study. She's re-evaluating everything in her life and she seems to be convincing herself that being M was a mistake. Yet she comes over when invited, has been increasing interactions rather than decreasing.