Thanks newmama. It's kind of like when I think about doing it I get upset. Like I'm starting something or like it's come to this.
I just wish I could hate him or something. It would make it so much easier if my mind could take all the crap he put me through and erase all the good and I could just not like him and then this would be easier.
I'm so angry. I'm just so angry and I want to get past that. It's so fresh though and it's hard. I'm so incredibly hurt. I seriously don't even know who he is anymore. Three years ago I thought I was marrying my soul mate- he was so generous, loving and kind. Somewhere along the way its like he took a wrong turn and is just self destructing. I feel like he is manipulative.
Now I'm wondering if he said he would keep paying the bills so he could still access the account. It's like, why would you do that?
