Well after reading your reply to me, the first thing that comes to my mind is that it sounds very much like post-partum depression. Women can keep it for years if not treated. That can attribute to lack of sexual attraction and so much stress over the kids. (However,she really needs to learn how to control them!)
I think she is in despair and reaching out to you for help (about the children) and yet at the same time, she wants to get away from you. That is why it seems confusing. If she doesn't get some help, you'll wake up to find that she has run away from you, the kids, and home. She won't be able to endure it. Or....she'll try just leaving you, hoping that will take care of her problems (not wanting to leave her babies). Listen, it happens all the time.
Get her help with the children. I would never have made it with twins! Get her out of the house....with you and without the kids. Get her some classes in how to manage twins who are at the terrible two's.
Next, don't ask..."take" her to a doctor who specializes in post-partum depression and hormone treatment.
Right now "you" are the one she is depending upon, even if you feel like you aren't. You are the head of your home, the protector and leader. Help your wife before she has a nervous breakdown....or finds another man who will be glad to make her feel better.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
