The U-haul has come and I should go

[sage]

But this whole thing has rocked me. Am I really that unhappy? Does H not tell me things because I take it all personally and I'm unreasonable? Do I have the bad case of anything is never enough, I always want more and I'm not satisfied with what I have. It is like a whole new element has been opened up, not just that H is unhappy being married to me, but I'm a unhappy person.

Ah...I have heard this too...and I can relate to how "rocking one's world" it can be...

I've got a bunch of different thoughts on this...don't know if any of them will resonate with you..

1. Pre-bomb I was much more stressed about every little thing and I spent time acting that way/complaining. I've cut out a lot of the anger over really trivial things so I think I'm at a much better baseline now...but I still do get really stressed out sometimes (this week is a good example) and feel as though I overwhelm my h with that negative energy....do you feel as though the "little" things may affect you too much? (by little thing I might mean that he forgot to pick up milk or I can't get to the post office before it closes or something like that)

2. (sweeping gender stereotype) -- I vent and talk about stuff that's bothering me...h doesn't...I think it's a mars and venus thing...I'm TRYING to let him know that it's not that I'm more unhappy than he is but that I need to process stuff out loud...in the interim, I'm trying to vent to my girlfriends, on the bb, etc

3. I think some of the "you're not happy" means "I don't think I can make you happy" in my sitch....I was NOT very good at noting and commenting on h's positives pre-bomb so I'm working hard at that to let him know how much I appreciate his efforts

4. finally...I read in the "Highly sensitive person" that it's quite common for HSPs to be told "you're never happy" by non-HSPs....IOW, I think about things a lot, mull them over, could go on and on about this nuance or that...to non-HSPs that mulling over seems like unhappiness whereas to HSPs that mulling over seems like good, clean fun.

It HAS been liberating for me to shed some of the small stuff, Jackie...it may be for you too if that's an issue but a combo of some of the other stuff (if it applies) may be needed too.

Gotta run.
Sage