The neighbor totally validated my concerns for the kids well being with this person with a violent history, but thought that if I applied for sole custody it would SURERLY destroy ANY possibility of a reconciliation even LONG in the future , if thats what I decided I ultimately want to do. She thought Joint Custody with me as primary , with an explanation for why and my concerns might be "softer" and not as damaging. Im considering it , but not sure. I KNOW I dont want my kids ANYWHERE near this clown.
It just struck me literally as I write this. In an odd way Im actually envisioning the possibility that there may NEVER be a future for us. And where yesterday prior to what I know now that would most certainly bring grief racked sobs, and yes it will still hurt for a LONG time to come, Im mostly sad for my kids and the promise they had of being blessed with a two parent family, something that was INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT to me.
Interestingly enough, a guy I know that is also trained as a counselor , I was talking to yesterday prior to all this. And he asked me what else could have happened besides this that would have gotten my attention in such a profound way. And the answer is obviously NOTHING. So I called him this morning , chewing over this new information and he asked the same question. What else other then me filing for custody, turning off her cell phone and taking back my truck would get her attention ? And the honest answer is in my mind at least. Nothing !
A good friend of our from Floida just called me an hour ago , checking to see how I was doing and how things were going. When I told him what I found out, as predicted he was shocked an speechless. He had been considering reaching out to her to see if he could somehow be a conduit and he actually told me now he's not going to , becuase " if I talk to her and she starts blowing smoke up my butt like that , now that I know the facts , Im going to call her on it !"
So thats another person she has lost the respect of , if she even cares
I told him I appreciated his support and letting me dump on him the last several days and I did encourage him to call her on it at some point , once I have the custody situation under control.
