Like you I have good days when I think I am detaching well and then bad days when I can;t get him out of my head. But luckily the bad days are getting less.
I also read everything and drive everyone mad as I need to have an understanding as why the man I chose to spend all my life with changed so as I don't recognise him and left to be with OW.
I have a long way to go yet. But I am learning about MLC, H and me all the time.
WE will be visiting my parents when we go to Colorado. My dad has had some spells after his triple bypass but he is still doing well. My mom had a knee replacement and refuses to get the other on done because she wasn't happy with the results! Thats my mom though!lol Thanks for asking!
I am doing great and thank you for the comment!
There is life after MLC, with or without your spouse!!! I am one of the fortunate ones that it has worked out. I just wish there were more.....
Hi Yellowrose I have read all your posts also. I am so greatful you journalled your way through your H MLC. It has helped me to stay focused and remain hopeful for the future. Congratulations!!! I wish you and your family well.
Thanks YR I have detached, but I recently saw signs of reconnection, or so I thought, and I got snatched onto the rollercoater again for a short time. I am ok at the moment, but I think I left my coat behind (finding it hard to settle back into detaching again) Everything that is written in the Exlanation of reconnection I saw happen. Reconnecting with family, friends. More contact with kids Asking about pets. Texts all the time
He asked out of the blue to come to the house, which he hadn't done for 8 months. Stayed 1 1/2 hours and chatted about work mostly. He asked questions which seemed to be caring, like how I am coping with some things. He even payed me compliments. After the touch and goes I have seen previously I thought this was it. After this he continued to make contact and come for short visits to see S.
Now he has withdrawn again and I have had noting for 4 weeks. Kids get the odd text that is all. He just seems to have backed off completely and left me mixed up. He does remain in contact with my SIL and has opened up slightly to her about the sitch recently.
I know your H did similar things. Did anything help him along?? My H OW is 19. Everyone says it can't last but it seems to be. They have been together 2 years. He makes out he is so happy.
Thanks for listening I know you are right, More patience needed
My H did the exact same things! What I had to do for myself was stay back and let him make the moves. My H went into withdrawl too. It was back and forth for a long while. I saw the signs from him and just let it happen. I didnt call him or have any contact with him.
You H is processing now. He need to figure out what is going to happen with his life. Its going to be bumpy for you for a while but just hang on and watch! It really was interesting to me to watch my H come out of his "coccoon" into the man he is today!!
It is so frustrating, and this has been going on for so long. He just wears the happy mask for everyone and stays away from me.
I am watching and waiting, It all just takes so long. In the beginning I thought like everyone else, not my H, it won't take that long, but everyone is right, it is painful.
Also YW it seems like there would be a ton of wreckage coming out, how do you process that and slice through it? Did you experience that wreckage? Did you ever feel that after he came out you didn't want to not move forward with your h any longer?
Just asking!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
