As I read your posts, I see your H sayiing a lot and ssking for what he wants.
He waa hurt that you were not cooking dinner for him. I know it sounds unreasonable considering he doesn't live with you anymore - but he was hurt. Seems like he wants to be part of your life - just doesn't know how to get there yet...
I can relate to the work issues. As our M deteriorated, my work pressures were escalating at the same time. At one point, I had to go work on Christmas eve and could barely afford to take Christmas day off. It really isn't always a choice to work 80 hours, clients, the economy, etc. drive the work hours sometimes. If you cut back, your coworkers end up carrying the extra - so anyway it can be a tough dynamics.
The last years of my M, The X wasn't emotionally available to talk about my work issues. I wanted to talk to The X about work - but when he wasn't there for me and started to blame many of our problems on my job, I just stopped talking to him and started to resent him... He wanted the benefits of my income but just didn't get that I needed emotional support - preferably his support. He refused to acknowledge or understand the demands my job was placing on me. I wanted to talk to him about changing jobs b/c it was affecting our M - he would just get annoyed and say that all I wanted to talk about was work.
I had to talk to someone - so there were my friends that happen to be male... But in my case, although I have a close friendship with my the male friends - they are purely platonic friends.
I am rambling - but I just wanted to see maybe where your H was coming from.
I think your H wants you to understand why he worked as hard as he did.
