Wow Future! This is going to be interesting watch unfold! I do think that 2 people may be able to get back together as two NEW people after a separation and a time of growth. You've done your growing. Now let's see if she's done hers! I'll keep my fingers crossed!
Thanks musclegal. I am encouraged by what I've seen from her so far. How she reacts when I tell what I need will tell me a lot.
Yes, you are doing awesomely. But, as has been stated already, tread carefully.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Got a message from my W. She told her atty to DELAY the custody hearing, not drop it. Interesting. She spent last evening in the company of her "negative sounding board" friend, so she may have had some pessimism impressed upon her.
Is this a test? Should I take some sort of strong stance and say "Look, I'm not going to live with this hanging over me. If you want a court to decide this, let's just go get it decided." Or, do I go with the flow for a while?
It sounds to me (and from your two prior, lengthy posts as well) like you're BOTH testing EACH OTHER.
I don't see a problem with a "delay" per se; the problem is, that I'd really like to see your wife NOT get what she wants here, to see if she'd still relate affectionately and respectfully towards you.
If it were me, I would tell her that you really don't see a delay as ANY different from her keeping up her request for custody. I mean, the "default" position right now is her action against you, so as long as she DOESN'T withdraw that, I think you should consider it pretty much the same thing.
Is this a test? Should I take some sort of strong stance and say "Look, I'm not going to live with this hanging over me. If you want a court to decide this, let's just go get it decided." Or, do I go with the flow for a while?
She wants to know that what she is experiencing is real. It's a safety net for her. Give her a little time and space. Be calm, strong and cool enough not to let it bother you.
"I can understand why you would do that."
Then let her be the next one to make contact.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Got a message from my W. She told her atty to DELAY the custody hearing, not drop it. Interesting. She spent last evening in the company of her "negative sounding board" friend, so she may have had some pessimism impressed upon her.
Maybe reply with a cryptic "Interesting. This surprises me, to be honest."
And then pull WAY back for 2-3 days emotionally.
I think she's fired a shot across your bow, at a time when I personally don't think she has ANY business playing "Offense."
And, just to throw in my 2 cents. Her attny very well might have advised her to delay. Attny's know the very low rate of reconciliation that sticks and he/she very well might have advised your W to proceed with caution. Not to mention if things don't work out she will have to start proceedings all over again (costly).
I don't see a problem with a "delay" per se; the problem is, that I'd really like to see your wife NOT get what she wants here, to see if she'd still relate affectionately and respectfully towards you.
Quote:
She wants to know that what she is experiencing is real. It's a safety net for her. Give her a little time and space. Be calm, strong and cool enough not to let it bother you.
Well, I did take an absolute stand against her Saturday night, I made it clear I wasn't giving her what she wanted, and the result was very positive. She was very respectful and affectionate all night.
I think she's recoiled back a little from everything, and truthfully, so have I. It was an intense night. A little voice in my head is saying "What are you doing? Do you really want to do this? Remember how bad your M was. Do you want to go back to that? Do you want to risk opening the wounds her A caused?"
She said the thing I did that really blew her away was NOT reacting and counter-attacking when she brought the suit in the first place, and I believe her. I need to sit tight for now.
But, as has been stated already, tread carefully.