The U-haul has come and I should go

[mockers2]

Hi Jackie -

I would vote for not bringing that out in the open. As tough as it is try not too. Ogda is right to run it through the filter of "will it get you closer to or farther away from your goals?"

There are so many positives here:
1. You had a date.
2. Your date went well.
3. You and H
4. Your H is talking to you about the R.
5. In the R talks, he is discussing his part in all this.
6. He has mentioned Retrovaille.
7. H aksed what do your books say we do next.

This is all so good.

Maybe some of these other isssues could be discussed safely in the context of Retrovaille when you go. With some guidance and time for just the two of you.

Please try not to think/worry about the phone call. He is moving towards you right now - even considering the conversation about your sister/his parents, things seem to be moving in the right direction. Thoughts of who might it be, etc. can tear you apart (I speak from experience here). Please try to let this go and not think about it. When thoughts come to mind, remind yourself the your H is making steps back into his R with you. Keep up the good work - the 180's, the thongs (you and Ellie are right here - they are not comfortable, but you can get used to them ), have more dates, plan your trip to London, look forward to Retrovaille, have fun with him, take care of you.

Validatating is hard, and I think you are good at it. Just keep reminding yourself each time you're around H to validate, validate, validate. I have to constantly remind myself about this in every conversation my H and I have.

You are doing great! Don't beat yourself up. Stay steady and keep focused. Maybe make a list of reminders to tuck in your pocket? (Lumpy's idea, which seems to help me.)

Sage is right to look at your H's comments as things that you can work on. This can be helpful, although at the time it can hurt very much to hear it.

Overall I still think things are going very well for you and H.

Hang in there (((((Jackie)))) You can do it!!!!!