I've had many of the same experiences with my W. I've had to leave meetings, work, and other events because she can't put the kids to bed (there have been times, where it has been physically challanging for her). She will often times call me at the office and complain that she is too tired to deal with the kids, eventhough she has the energy to complain about me on Facebook, or to meet friends for a "meeting". We almost seldom go out together, except to her parents for lunch, with her family which she does not like to do.
Any way, I am not sure how to deal with the exclusionary feeling. I generally do like to out much, so putting the kids to be and hanigin at home is fine with me.
The mood swings are the hardest to deal with. One minute she is fine and wants us to work on things, and the next minute she is yelling and screaming and wants to withdraw, throws the kids out of the house (which means hanging out at her brother's and sister-in-law - who is extremely critical of my W.).
I know you are in a very lonely place and its hard, who do you turn to for help, how do you fix the problem. Is she well? Is she attacted to someone else? What did you do wrong? What about the children? These are things we need to figure out and think of all the time.
Good luck, take care, and take time with the kids (even when its hard).
