Please help - feeling so desperate - need advice

[PEI]

Love the idea of getting out T, W and Th evenings ... and the suggestions here are awesome (the coffeeshop and book idea is fabulous, you get out AND get to do some reading! PERFECT!). I'm not a big fan of the gym either, but you could walk at a local mall and window shop or something like that.

Oh, and honestly, try reframing how you look at this:

While I know in some respects it's great that he doesn't want to move out it also makes it very challenging to GAL in some ways.

In MANY respects it's great that he doesn't want to move out and from where I sit (and I have 3 small kids too) I think it's easier to GAL - no babysitter required! And you have the side benefit of him being around to notice. See, it's all how you look at something

Hope you have a great week!

Peace
PEI

[fudwoman]

Hi PEI,
Yes - that is a good reframe. Went to my first bookclub meeting last night - was gone only until about 9:30. When I got home he asked how my evening went (not what I did). I said OK and dropped it. He then asked whether I wanted to watch the end of the movie we'd started over the weekend (The Blindside) and I said sure. So that was the night. Still trying to line things up for other nights but feeling a bit down today.

Last week he went with me to the first part of my son's evaluation. We had lunch and it was odd because it was in the same vicinity as where we used to see our last therapist over 7 years ago. He told me that day that he wouldn't be joining me this week because he didn't want to miss any more work. Still I feel sad right now. I really do want to spend time with him and not off doing all of these activities. The activities and meeting other people is OK but in the back of my mind is always the situation we find ourselves in and that just stinks.

I know I need to have patience but this just feel interminable and as if we're in a stand still. To make matters worse it doesn't seem like I can get an appt with my DB coach for a few weeks - not good.

Don't mean to be complaining just feeling low.

A

[newmama]

Still I feel sad right now. I really do want to spend time with him and not off doing all of these activities. The activities and meeting other people is OK but in the back of my mind is always the situation we find ourselves in and that just stinks.

We have allll been there! Withdrawal from your H will be painful but it is very necessary to helping you to 1) detach 2) improve your self esteem and develop your interests and 3) cause your H to find you mysterious 4)your H will miss you!!!

[fudwoman]

Thanks Newmama - I know you're right but still need encouragement.

BTW - I'd like to move to a less crowded forum - can any one recommend a good one given my sitch? I don't seem to fit neatly anywhere.

Other news - I just read this and thought I'd share:

The Soul
Would Have
No Rainbow

If The Eyes Had
No Tears

[newmama]

The Soul
Would Have
No Rainbow

If The Eyes Had
No Tears

beautiful! and kind of comforting, too.

I think the MLC forum would be closest for your sitch! It is not as slow as some (meaning you wouldn't be left hanging) but less crowded than this one!