Sandi: I know what you mean, and in many respects I agree with you. With the seemingly gigantic mountain in front of us there is no place for sexual attraction. I also agree that perhaps I overstepped on Mother's Day. She liked everything and I had fun doing it all for her. One of our issues has been her feeling that I had put myself before the family and esp. her. This was just a way to show her that I could be very thoughtful. But I know I laid it on rather thick.
Let me share my weekend with you. Friday night she goes out to dinner with her sis and bro-in-law. She tells me this and expects me to take care of the kids. She offers to get me help but I refuse it. One of the things we had talked about in therapy was her needing "space" and time to do things to make herself happy and get out of the baby trenches. I was hurt that she didn't include me, but I tempered that with 'at least she's going out and trying to have a good time.'
She was out for about 5 hours and I had no problem putting the kids to bed. Saturday night I had a school reunion to attend. The first thing I found interesting was that on Sat. morning she suggests going out to Cheesecake Factory for lunch with the kids. We don't take our twins (age 2) out to public restaurants much if at all. Was she feeling a bit guilty for not including me on Friday?
I left for my affair after helping feed the kids. I arrived at almost 9pm due to heavy traffic. At about 10:30pm I start getting txt messages from the W in a panic -- the boys aren't going down, they're crying hysterically, etc. I called around 11pm to see if she was OK and she couldn't talk because one son was sleeping next to her in her bed. So, I went on with my evening. Then I noticed the next day about 5 more txts in which she was asking me to come home and help (I was an hour away) and they kept waking up, and please come home. I was at a reunion with people I hadn't seen in almost 30 years and less than 2 hours into it I am being asked to come home.
Fortuately I missed those messages and I stayed at the party. She told me the next morning how difficult it was getting the kids down. I felt bad because her story sounded like a comedy sketch. It was insane. But what does she want from me? Emotionally she is distant and closed, but yet she's trying to drag me back home from a big event I was attending?? I would have been so resentful for leaving b/c I probably wouldn't even gotten a thank you.
I sent her a message for the second time in a week today asking her to visit a "neutral" MC with me. That was almost 2 hours ago. She didn't reply to the first one and she's doing the same again. She has me very confused and I can't figure out what she wants from me?
