Please help - feeling so desperate - need advice

[newmama]

While I know in some respects it's great that he doesn't want to move out it also makes it very challenging to GAL in some ways. I already go to a meditation group on Wednesdays that requires I leave the house before the kids go to bed. I don't want to do that too much because then I miss being with my kids (I work all day). So really I need an activity from about 8 - 10pm at night. Hard to find. I did look at Meetup and have some ideas. I could also go to an exercise class or something like that. I would like to be out on Tuesdays and Thursdays if possible. Monday I teach a course online and he has hockey so that's out.

My questions are:
1) Does it sound like a good idea to get out of the house or am I running away?
2) How many nights a week should I be out?
3) Does anyone have any ideas of what I might do between 8 and 10pm on a week night?
4) What should I say to him about where I'm going?

Hi, Fudwoman! I just caught up on your thread. Ok, first, your instincts are telling you that you need to get away from him and this actually can be good because it is a 180, correct? So it looks like you plan to not be around him Mon- Thurs nights from 8-10? Going out is good- it helps him to miss you, it helps your self esteem, it helps you to look mysterious.

About how often to be out. I am curious to see what others think, but I think if you were home one weeknight with him, it would give him the opportunity to realize how much he missed you when you were out the other nights. It would let you two talk if he wanted to bring something up.

Now about where you are going. You can start by saying something like "a class" and let him ask you what kind of class. But some nights you might just be going to meet up with some friends (i.e. meetup.com) and again, it is ideal if he asks you. So you say "ok, I'm going out and I will be back later tonight!" and he will ask and then you say "oh, just meeting up with some friends. Gotta run!"

About what to do 8-10 p.m. I joined meetup but sometimes didn't have something to do so I just went alone to a coffee shop and read a book, or went to the bookstore, got a glass of wine at a nearby pub, went to see a movie (did that a lot!), went for walks while talking on the phone, had a belly dancing class (but it ended by 9 usually)...