thanks for the link, newmama! There's a good book out there, recommended by my MC called "The Good Divorce". I haven't wanted to read it yet, but flipped through it, and it not only gives statistics on stuff- for those of you who love numbers ;), but gives a lot of advice about how to do or NOT do a divorce and how that affects the kids. E.g., going the mediation or collaboration route is better for them in the long run (as long as there's no physical abuse or huge power imbalance in the R), and all the things newmama mentioned.
FM- I see you getting stronger every week. I know you attribute some of that to the ADs (boy, they sure help, don't they? Based on my biology, I'd be in a very black place myself right now without them), but I think it's also YOU working hard and knowing the outcomes that are possible and the ones you want. I know you've worked very hard on this and just wanted to say- some of it's you, too.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
