W made a comment about turning our front window into a bay window and so I said "That would look great, ask your father to do it" W did not respond.
I am wondering if your wife loses some respect for you when you turn to her father for assistance?
It may be in your better interest to NOT lean too much in that direction.
You can always compliment her father but still bow out :
"I know your father's quite good at this stuff, but I think I would like to have that done for you on my own in this case... Would that be ok?"
Or something like that... You would have to think on this, but how do you think your wife perceives it when you suggest she ask him to work on your home for you?
I say this because I am not going to invest in a home remodel and then have W leave it.
For example
W: I am leaving
Me: What about all these repairs/remodeling we did to our home?
W: That was you not me, you wanted, you did them.
Where as if she asked her father, he would get the impression he is going to stay and I know W would not waste his time. Of course I help FIL do these things
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Why not take the opportunity to ask if she is still planning to leave. If she says, "We should redo the kitchen", you say, "I don't need a new kitchen if you're moving to the apartment." She might be looking for a way to tell you she is not moving.
Why not take the opportunity to ask if she is still planning to leave. If she says, "We should redo the kitchen", you say, "I don't need a new kitchen if you're moving to the apartment." She might be looking for a way to tell you she is not moving.
Shortest distance between two points . . . AGREE.
Too much innuendo and dancing around the issues at hand.
Why not take the opportunity to ask if she is still planning to leave. If she says, "We should redo the kitchen", you say, "I don't need a new kitchen if you're moving to the apartment." She might be looking for a way to tell you she is not moving.
Yes, and women in particular like to HINT rather than say things outright...
I say accept the hint and don't pressure her.. It's just pursuit if you do try to get a straight answer from her - no relationship talk is right out of the book.
I woke up this morning, W out in the yard, walked back in and W was up. W was looking for flag for our flag pole. I helped her find it. W and I then went out front and agreed what a beautiful day it is...Ultimately we both agreed to go to the zoo, something we have not done in a while.
There are times where I see/hear my old W, though they are brief. I get the urge to jump on the opportunity but I refrain from doing so knowing we still have a long road ahead of us.
I will let you all know how the day goes.
Last edited by OfficerInNeed; 05/24/1003:19 PM.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Why not take the opportunity to ask if she is still planning to leave. If she says, "We should redo the kitchen", you say, "I don't need a new kitchen if you're moving to the apartment." She might be looking for a way to tell you she is not moving.
Yes, and women in particular like to HINT rather than say things outright...
I say accept the hint and don't pressure her.. It's just pursuit if you do try to get a straight answer from her - no relationship talk is right out of the book.
Allen, it's not "pursuit" the way Lotus has it phrased above. Pursuit would be OIN, suggesting to his wife that they remodel.
His wife is on record as saying she's leaving. I'm not necessarily advocating a "What are your intentions regarding this marriage?" convo today (altho I do think it needs to happen), but I certainly think that if SHE keeps bringing up these home improvement projects, household logistics, expenditures, etc., then OIN should just take the opportunity to ask her what her intentions are.
Let me think on it pup... There's a lot of variables at play here... And a well-worded inquiry may be appropriate... There's just a lot that's happened there in that last few days... right now i am inclined to suggest OIN play it cool to see if OIN is gonna stick to his wife and family or screw OIN over again...
I do like the interactions of the last 72 hours. So long as OIN has an intel system in place, I'm not disinclined to give it some more time, SO LONG AS he calls her on any rude or disrespectful behavior.
