It's in the hopper, and it did make me feel a little better, so thanks.
I hate myself for loving spending time with her so much.
I only talk to a couple people in my life about this, and btoh of them are telling me I need to talk to her. They are saying I need to tell her that I can't do this anymore, and we either need to try to repair our relationship together, or I need to walk away.
To be honest here, I am scared that if I do that, I am just going to hear what I heard the last time I tried that a few months ago, which is that she still wants a divorce and thinks we are spending time together just because were "used to it".
Someone please tell me that starting that conversation with her is a bad idea.
As I see it my only options here are to either silently go away, without saying a word, or tell her I can't do it anymore and go away.
I'm leaning towards just silently going away.
I just find it hard to believe that she is sitting at work, like me, after camping last week and last night going so well, and she is not thinking about stuff. Like, how could she just go back to her "single girl" life after that? How can she not be wondering...
I'm just ranting and spilling my guts here...
Like I said, I knew what I was getting into yesterday, and I knew I would get sucked back in, so to speak... But I didnt know I would feel THIS awful today.
