No one deserves to be treated the way WASs treat their LBSs. You can put whatever labels on it you want, but the bottom line is that we trusted them, we were committed to them, we were loving to them, and they treat us worse then they would treat enemies.
While the above statement is true…
We also had our part in the breakdown of the M. Even though we didn’t create the monster called MLC, we did all make mistakes as partners.
So it is ok to feel this way for a while, a very SHORT while, and then we MUST pick ourselves up, get out of the unfairness of it all, and put our lives back together.
Otherwise, we will end up a mess, just like our spouses. The truth is, we really really do NOT want to be inside of their heads. During any phase of this. They do horrible things because they get selfish. Then they begin, eventually, to see the damage, and it is almost too much for most of them to bear…
Rlay,
Ask the questions, but take this time to really learn about what you are dealing with.
Read the archives, read the resources…
You will begin to understand, your questions will be answered, and then, as you start to really see what the MLCer is going through, you may begin to find yourself having compassion, because believe me, what the MLCer goes through, is much worse than anything they do to their S or their family.
Then as you learn, as you begin to heal, learn to live. That is what this process is all about.
Learn to value who you are as a person, an individual. Learn what you like about you and what you don’t. Kill what you don’t.
Learn how to love yourself, learn patience, learn forgivness, and learn who you are really meant to be.
You won’t be sorry if you do these things.
Whether your M is restored or not, you won’t be sorry.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
