I've said it before and I'll say it again: you have a great pastor and church there. I think your pastor's wife is exactly right. Your ex, despite his sinful, nasty ways, does need our prayers and compassion. He is a wretched and toxic human being who refuses to find the fault in himself for the lack of satisfaction he feels in life. He really does need our pity and our prayers.
But that's as far as you need to go with that yourself. Give him up to God to deal with now -- XH is now beyond your concern entirely now. Let go and let God, as they say.
I know that is easier said than done -- believe me, I know very well -- especially when you still share children with the former spouse. For that reason you are forced to have to deal with the other parent on a regular basis. And that becomes the new source of consternation that will afflict you. But I can now see that while that will be a sort of constant in our new existences, we will eventually work ourselves to where it becomes part of the daily background noise we have to deal with. We will, perhaps with fits and starts, achieve a point where we have adapted to what has been a persistent thorn in the flesh.
And yet we will prosper, both in spite of and because of this one source of discomfort in our lives. Because we give this over to the Lord above, and abide in Him. His grace is more than enough.
