Half the time I don't know what I'm thinking. No wonder I confuse him and everyone else.
Quote: I interpreted it to mean that you don't always feel prepared to talk when he first brings this up but then when you reinitiate a conversation he doesn't want to talk about it again? Or did you mean that when you bring it up again it appears that how you interpreted the conversation isn't what he meant?
When he brings something up, I believe he has an expectation as to what I should say, or what he wants me to say. I feel like I need to analyze the real meaning to the conversation (would like to have those cue cards to what is really meant by his words!). However, it I don't say much and think it all through, when I'm prepared to talk about it, he isn't in the frame of mind for a R talk. Probably where validating would be the best course of action instead of offering my opinions. Just think of myself on a fact gathering mission.
Quote: Would you say that in your R -- h is a talker? Are you a talker?
Oh, I am the talker. I make the plans and decisons in the family life, part of the problem. He never took the initative to do things socially or in the R, I always did, and if he had a differing opinion, I would state my reasons and we would go from there. Sometimes it was so frustrating--where would you like to go for dinner? I don't care. What ould you like to do? Whatever. Sometimes I wondered how he could be so successful as a manager and he couldn't make a decision at home. So, to list a huge fault of mine, I think when he did express an opinion I would bull-doze right over it as I believe what I was doing was the right thing.
Quote: do you think that he gets overloaded with R talk and pulls away? If so...I'd say maybe sit on this for a while...
I don't know the answer to this one. I have avoided R talks for the past year, rarely bringing them up as he never seemed receptive to them. Though, some of the best exchanges we have had are either late at night or via email.
I like the date idea. Just ask, are you free Saturday night? Okay, I'll pick you up at 7 and see how that goes. Actions, not words.
