Mila - I've been doing some reading and I came across a line in one of HB's posts that stated that the MLCer has gone back to a time before we existed in their lives. Maybe that's why they do the things they do without regards to our feelings. In their heads they're reliving a youth before they married us and had children.
When you think about the big picture in this it's hard for me not to have compassion for my H. I can't even begin to imagine how screwed up and jumbled his mind must be. No wonder they dart back into the tunnel after moments of clarity. Their brains must go on sensory overload and they can't take it and run back to what they consider their safe place where they don't have to deal with it.
Like you, I want to understand it as much as possible as it helps me to deal with the sitch.
Just a few of my random thoughts, could be off base...
