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I hope you are feeling a lot better.

hi lauraoh.
feeling a bit better.
i spent the weekend with friends.
they saw how thin i got and decided to 'fatten' me up with food.
belgian waffles with ice cream, strawberries, and brownie bits.
sushi dinner.
they made it a point to steer the conversation away from the sitch.
but when they gave me time to vent, they just listened.
i got a bit emotional after a few hours of shopping.
i used to shop with h and i'd advise him what clothes to get. it was hard not shopping with him. again, not about the material things. it's the time spent with him.

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I think the history you share makes it a litte EASIER with a man. In general, according to Dr. Laura, men are much more likely to forgive and "get over" past hurts.

i don't know.
h has his parents constantly telling him that he's doing the right thing. so it's unlikely he will ever forgive me.
after 4 months, he's still pissed off at me.
for ruining christmas, for going with the law instead of his proposal of 75% for him and 25% + engagement ring for me.

my h has been keeping score and he plotted to get me out of the house so he can claim the entire house.
is he really going to forgive me? i don't think so.

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And they don't really want to teach someone new all their little idiosyncrisies.

this i agree with.
but it still doesn't stop me from thinking that he'd sleep with someone just to hurt me.

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Think long and hard about before all this--who was the first to "make up" after fights-say they were sorry and want to be done with it all? For me, that is my H.

h said sorry once in our entire marriage.
he never thought he was wrong. why would he? his mother was always telling him that he was right.
he often blamed me for any arguments.

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And as you concentrate on some things about your H, and let other things go, you will "know" him even better than before. And can deal with his fears and insecurities in a new way.

this side he's showing now is very unattractive and mean spirited.
but i get what you mean. it's all about give and take.

i want to try and keep a positive outlook. but it looks awflly bleak.

dumped.