My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[TimeHeals]

I am not sure how you tell the difference between mental illness and how people behave toward their spouses when they are in a full-blown obsessive fantasy with somebody outside their marriage.

I suppose you could argue that it's not a rational thing to become obsessed with somebody outside your marriage (good reason to never go there), but... in my case... stbxw is fully capable of appearing rational to others insofar as I know. She is otherwise functional, but with regard to me and anybody who knows about what is going on who sides with the M, she seems to behave very irrationally.