H called me on Tuesday, what are we doing? Karate. Can I come watch? Sure. So he watches and asks what dinner plans were. I had planned a crock pot dinner from Flylady by the stupid crock pot I bought at Wal-mart was broken and thought we'd just do BK (points for tyring?)
Instead, he invited all of us over to the new place. So me disgustingly sweaty and the kids head over for dinner. S4 shows me around, shows me his and S7 room and then says, this is your and Daddy's bed.
We talk, he talks about how hard the previous evening was, not feeling needed. How weird our talk was. I told him that I can't give him time and space and also make him feel needed. I can't figure out how I can do that, but if there is something he would like me to do, please tell me. We talked about the ring thing. I used Ellie's suggestion of telling him that he can work through his issues with the mother of his children and someone who loves him flaws and all or be alone. I also told him that I think we should keep the good parts of our R (namely sex, as he felt very weird at lunch about even kissing) while we work on our R. He talked about how he needed to work on his issues before he could work on us. I agreed. He then asked if he could come put the kids to bed and possibly other things. I agreed. We had a very nice evening (I made him a chocolate martini).
He called on Wednesday to say what a nice evening it was and then offered to put the windshield wipers on the van for me. I had told him I was going to Boston for the weekend to meet some BB people as I did not want to be alone in the hosue without the kids. He said he understood. He came over after the kids were in bed, and we had a nice evening, but it wasn't as good as the evening before. I'm afraid we were trying to recreate that and we just need more time apart, he needs to miss me more.
So today he came to get the kids to take to SIL craft show. He was short with me and barely spoke to me. I tried not to let it get to me and here we are. So we have had some highs and lows. He did ask me to email him the name of some counselors, so I see that as good.
We breifly discussed my mother and that she wasn't mean to him and he said he thinks it is hard for his folks to reach out to me. I'm still so angry at them, they could even just do the wimpy thing and email me, they know I have no family nearby in a ten hour radius.
But, despite the anger, I think I'm doing okay. H may bring the kids over here this weekend and the house is a wreck. I'm debating cleaning it to make him happy, or just leave it as a pig-sty as I just don't have the energy and it is now my pig sty.
