You're right CW. For me the worst part of this is what it's doing to the kids. I'm there for them and try to minimize the fallout as much as I can, but can never erase all of their pain.
My H is twisting on his rollercoaster but unfortunately he often takes our S13 for a ride and then I have to pick up the pieces when he disappears again.
S13 has had to go to counselling to try and make some sense of the MLC journey.
SA, It's hard to say....if you can teach them to love unconditionally, that might better. It's difficult to teach and/or explain to a child that they need to detach and love from afar. If they are star pupils, they may become distant and learn not to exhibit their emotions later on in life. It could become a learned behavior and one that could lead to many issues later in life.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Snodderly. Definitely don't want to teach them that then. I just want to shield them from being so hurt from the let down they are getting from a dad that they adored and who adored them.
Loving unconditionally is something I believe they already do because even though he hurts them and they get angry, they still declare their love for him.
Yes, I'm doing all right. Not to say I don't have those days when I get really sad & cry but they are not everyday like they just to be.
I think it was hard for my h to face me. I discovered ow about 2 weeks after he told me he wanted a d, but I didn't tell him I knew it. I gave him every opportunity to tell me, but he just kept saying there was no one else & he was tired of me accusing, I kept my mouth shut! He went on a so called business trip, I got into his computer (laptop) & that is when he discovered that I knew, actally while he was out of town. He couldn't face me the night he flew back, he stayed at a Motel 8 just down the road from me. He never talked about it unless I brought it up, but he never would admit to it, I think his lawyer told him not to.
I'm glad you are doing all right. It's sounds like your D17 is a smart girl!
I came home from work today and put on my jeans and headed outside to help put up hay. After stacking on the wagons in the field it had to taken to the barn and stacked up in the loft. It's good honest work and although it doesn't take a lot of thinking it's physical and tiring which is good.
Hay is up, horses are fed and the day's work is done. S26 takes his wife and I for a ride on the tractor up the hill to check on grass growth in upper fields. The view from up there looking down at the farm is breathtaking and I am reminded how proud H was at one time of this place that we had worked so hard for.
Coming down the hill I looked to the east and there was a huge orange moon, so gorgeous and I'm reminded that I no longer have a special someone to share it with and I feel very alone. How do things get so screwed up?
How do things get so screwed up?