An unusual day here. When H left yesterday after lunch, things were a bit weird because of the talk at lunch. H called during dinner about a glitch in the Santa shopping, Ijust talked about that and said goodbye. Then he called to say goodnight to the boys, we were playing monopoly and they really had no interest in talking to him. This is a first since he has left, usually they are excited to talk to him. When this would occur when he was on a business trip I would try to soothe him with...they are busy right now, they were talking about your earlier, but instead when s handed back the phone to me, he said, "well, that didn't go so well." I made no soothing noises, just agreed and said bye.
Last night good friends of ours called, the H is coming in to test for his black belt and usually stays with us when he visits. He has been leaving H messages (they work for the same company, how we know them and once lived here), but no response. So he called here last night and we chatted a bit and then it was, is H there? So I had to tell them as H was obviously avoiding doing so. I emailed H this morning to let him know I talked to them and extended an invite for our friend to stay here, but told him I understood if he would rather bunk up with H. Kept the email very short, but needed to tell him that he now knows our dirty little secret.
So, today on routine emails re: the kids, I am getting no response. This is very weird for me. I am used to being the one to stick out the olive branch, to try and make him feel better, to try and comfort him when he is hurting. My instinct is to reach for the phone and call him, but I'm tyring not to. To let him sort this out without me, and if he is mad at me for any reason, I'm not going to defend myself. I haven't done anythhing wrong. Are my actions non-loving by not chatting on the phone with him? Or is the guilt I feel just part of the letting go process?
