I have had passing moments of acceptance, strength and optimism about my future, but the longing, hurt and concern for him keeps coming back every morning and night.
He slept somewhere else last night (the night after I got in his bed). I feel guilty because I have invaded his space and privacy. He retreats to one little room in this house and I find myself in there constantly when he's gone (the computer is in there, that's my excuse.) That's not fair to him either.
I feel like such a creep. I obsess about where he is, who he's talking to, if he thinks about me, misses me. I wonder still about this female friend of his and find myself driven to "find something," some evidence that the relationship is more than he says it is.
These are all perfectly normal feelings for you to have. Don’t get caught up in the trap of thinking that you should be doing something to make them go away. That will only increase your suffering. Life brings an endless stream of feelings, some good and some bad, and it is our job/privilege to experience/endure them all. Bit by bit, you will feel better. I guarantee it.
