I just can't take it anymore

[K4D]

Snap out of it bro. You are pissing away your life because you have some obstacles in it. Geez, who doesn't?

Personally, I think counseling is for the birds unless you are ready to work on what they have to teach you. If you are ready to do what they say and put the effort into it, great, if not, don't waste your time with counseling. Someone else could use it that is willing to put the work into it and follow the instructions/help given to them.

You are right, sitting there telling someone how you feel wronged doesn't fix your problems. And when you walk out of that office, your problems will still be there. But if you can learn how to cope with those problems and overcome those problems to enjoy a much fuller life, then you are getting somewhere. Coming here doesn't appear to be helping you either. I won't discount the advice given here as it is great advice. But you aren't ready to take it and work with it.

I think you are lonely and you use this as a means of venting to someone who will listen and respond back to you. But you don't really care what they say just as long as they are paying attention to you.

That is how it seems to me anyways.

Life is hard sometimes. You can make it harder by doing nothing other than sitting around whining about it, or you can improve it by keeping a PMA in the face of all and finding things to look forward to.

You should really take a lesson from CG. Her life hasn't been the easiest either and yet, she moves forward and finds ways to enjoy her life even amongst the issues of health and H. At least you have kids. Look in their eyes. Do they see a strong father or a broken father? My kids used to see a broken father. They no longer do. My kids see a strong father no matter how broken I may feel inside at times. What do you reflect to them? And even though I may have moments of things seeming difficult, I still find ways to enjoy my life. I plan for my future with or without my wife. I know I still have a future. I still have kids that need me and rely on me. There are still fun things I can look forward to doing.

Is it lonely sometimes. Ya, it has its moments of loneliness. But do I stay lonely? Nope. If I am feeling lonely, I will call up a friend and see if they want to get together. If not, I will call another one. If nobody is available, I will find something to do myself which could include any number of things that I may have an interest in doing at that point. But I am not going to just sit there and think, geez, I am lonely, my life sucks. Doing that just continues to suck. I get busy with something and before long I have accomplished something that I can feel better about.

But none of this matters until you are willing to change your outlook and decide there are still things worth doing and enjoying in your life even if there are some obstacles. Goodness, some people just piss away the gift of life because they don't have everything the way they want it. Learn to work with what you do have and build from there. Many people have done it in far worse situations than yours.

I can honestly talk to you this way because I pissed away a year and half of my life thinking like you. And in the end, thinking that way just kept me in misery. I had to break out of that and so I had to work mentally to change that. It didn't just come over night either. It takes a renewed effort every morning to say there are things to live for and I am going to find a way to do that.

One last thing, don't throw away the bible because you didn't get what you wanted. As bad as things may appear, they could always be worse and perhaps you are being spared worse. Nobody is promised a bed of roses in life. Your faith in God should have nothing to do with getting a bed of roses down here. Don't love God because there is something in it for you. Love God because He is all loving and loves you. Don't be so attached to this world that you are going to walk away from a glorius afterlife because you aren't getting what you want right now.

Pick yourself up and work towards the best life possible. If you run into an obstacle, find a way around it or through it and keep moving forward. Don't stop because one road was temporarily blocked. Be solution oriented. If one thing doesn't work, try something else. If that doesn't work, try something else. Something will eventually work.

K4D