My Husband Just Left Me

[BeingMe]

I am so sorry you find yourself on a board like this, but you will find the posters here very helpful.

I think you should fulfill your obligations independently. If you said you would be at a wedding, be there. Especially, if it is someone close to you or your own family member. Why would you step back from organizing a reunion? You did nothing wrong. He left you, not the other way around. As for the BBQ, perhaps it's too soon to have a party, but I would do it, and make sure to have a good time. Also, if you are ever going to be in his presence, make sure to be pleasant but distant, and dressed your best. Don't look sad and desperate, but happy and looking forward to the new future. GAL by going to those weddings, having fun, party with your friends, take up any new hobbies or sports, go to the gym, meet new people. Be vivacious. In other words, be the greener grass.

As for financial stuff --- the wise thing to do is protect yourself as quickly as possible. Get your own bank account, and withdraw half the money from the joint account (or whatever your portion is) and place it into the new account. I would go to a lawyer and find out what your legal rights are. For instance, would you be responsible for any new debt that your WAH may incur after leaving you? And, when should you remove him from your healthcare? Usually, some lawyers would give a 1 hour session free. You may only need mediation. I am not sure what is available in your area, but you should find out ASAP, before you find yourself blind-sided.

Become independent as soon as possible, to show your H that you don't need him, you just want him, but for now, you should go dark, and do what is necessary to get to that end.

Is there another woman? I suspect there is one. Be prepared for this eventuality. I am sure you have already wondered this. And if you asked him, I bet he said no. They always say that. Apparently, it's so not to hurt your feelings, but walking away from a M for no apparent reason, and not working on saving it, doesn't hurt one's feelings???? It just boggles my mind.

Good luck with the coaching session.