I guess that's why I don't talk to many of the LBW's who come here. They get offended real quick at my posts and I don't have a lot of patient with them. But, the men seem to be able to take it better and I hope you will be one of those who do.
Yes, it is hard for a W to believe that she could be that unhappy without her H even having a clue,but that is what the majority of the men say.....they didn't know. In some cases the W tries to express this to her H,but according to some men their W kept it hidden......so I don't know if it is lack of communication or "bad" communication.
But I have learned that it seems to be important to most women that the H state what he did wrong.....if he knows what it is. For a woman, it just doesn't seem enough to simply say that you regret the past or that you're sorry she was unhappy. If your drinking was behind a lot of problems, then you have made great strides in stopping that. What other areas have you changed? What about your temper? How do you handle that now?
The hard thing about the M breakdown is when a WAW is "done" then it is very hard to draw her back. It's as if the LBH can do nothing right in her eyes. You'd think she would be excited over his changes, but a lot of times he sees her angry about it instead of happy. It's b/c he waited until she was completly through with the M before he woke up,so that's another reason he must make improvements for himself and not just to win her back.
I hope that you can be specific with her about your faults. I also encourage you to offer no excuses. It will be hard for you b/c you want to do it, but it will go much better if you do not do that. As long as you try to defend yourself, she will see you not accepting your part of the breakdown. Maybe that doesn't make sense, but I think it is how we women are wired.
The good thing about this board is that we help each other learn how the opposite sex thinks.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
