one thing one of my best friends said to me early on that stuck with me was I did not have to do anything I wasn't ready to do, at least not for him. I was so angry early on I was calling lawyers/getting ready to file, etc. I think part of me liked taking control of the situation, ya know? but she stopped that. reminded me this was his thing. Yes, I consulted with a lawyer, but stopped there. if he wanted to file, that was his buisness, and I would respond appropriately, but I did not have to help him on the way.
I never changed the locks. why would I? I wanted my H home. I didn't allow him to cake eat. he couldn't come and go as he pleased, it was no longer his home, but as far as I was concerned I wanted him back if/when he was ready to. if he violated my privacy on that matter, and tried to come/go as he pleased, I might have changed that, but he didn't.
when he comes to get his stuff, if you can trust him not to take un-agreed upon stuff, well, be BUSY. it used to drive my h bonkers when I had plans or was busy and looked like I was having fun without him. lol. if you have to be there hwne he is getting it, don't hover over him.
okay, gotta run. hope any of this helps. good luck to you!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
