I also posted this in the "New" forum but it may be more appropriate here. I am in an immense amount of pain now. I am willing to take any advice and will do my best to listen and learn! I need help!
I understand this is VERY new - husband just left yesterday (still has not gathered belongning). I just want to be prepared and stay motived.
I'm pretty sure he is gone for good. He has threatened in the past but yesterday he was emotionless when he told me that he did not love me. He said he has not loved me for a long time and its something he has been struggling with. He said that I need to move on and that we will never get back together.
Sadly (I think I'm in denial), I still have hope that maybe in a few months he will change his mind. He is throwing 10 years away. 10 years!
It is absolutely confusing to me (as I've said in previous posts). Tuesday was my birthday and he wrote me a beautiful card about how "proud he was to be able to call me his wife, love and friend" and then today he is leaving me. I just don't feel like he has lost all emotional feeling for me. We have been getting along well with occassional arguements. It's almost like he is unable to deal with any conflict and runs away when that happens.
I am going to try to set up a session with one of the DB coaches.
Here is what I need help with right now, these might seem silly but I need help: -We had planned to have a memorial day BBQ next Monday, which he has already said is not going to happen (obviously). I was the one that sent out the original "evite". Do I cancel it or wait for him to do that? -We had RSVP'd do a wedding on June 12 (obviously before this happened). Do I go alone and tell him I'm doing so? Do I tell the bride and groom we are seperated? I'm not really sure how to approach this and don't want to contact spouse about this unless absolutely necessary. -We have a 10 year class reunion coming up next month(spouse and I helped planned together with two other friends). Do I still help with planning (even though I will have to be in meeting with spouse) or back out? Do I still go to reunion even though spouse will be there and people will not know we are seperated and will ask about us and I would have to tell them. -We also have a wedding in September in Chicago that we already purchased hotel and airplane tickets. This is farther out so I'm not as concerned but same scenario. I was so excited to visit Chicago but I dont know if it's "wrong" to still go. -I am not planning to contact spouse at all (phone, email, text). If he contacts me do I answer call or emails? What if he wants to come and get stuff - how do I act? What do I say? -What about health insurance, changing locks? Do I go ahead and take him off my health insurance now and change locks or do I wait for him to bring these things up?
I want to make our marriage work. I truly do with all my heart and I want to take steps to be the best me I can be. I understand the importance of GAL but yesterday I said "I don't even know how I'm supposed to act, do we never talk to each other again" and he said "we are going to have to talk a lot because there is a lot to work out" (he meant in terms of divorce/sepeartion, not working on our marraige). I want to make those interactions count which is why I'm asking the questions above.
