I did tell my her on the first text to leave me alone. But she didnt - just checked my phone and it seems I deleted few texts damn. Well will keep the last one - this is the most antagonising one anyway.
As for XH he probably wont believer or will say I deserve it. He has no remorse for the D or the A. He feels that he was driven to it and has no guilt whatsoever.
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
I wouldnt even give her the time of day! i would act like i dont even receive her texts, that would make her more mad then anything. she knows shes getting to you every time u respond to her in any way!!!! quiet
Lea, don't give this OW power to push your buttons! If she knows she is upsetting you, then she will make your life h*ll. I don't think you should mention it to your H b/c he'll say something to her and then she'll know she had victory in doing what she intended. Besides, according to your description of WAH, you would be wasting your breath.
Completely ignore her messages. Most of all, don't even read them b/c it will keep you imprisoned to it. Fist thing you know, you'll be like watching a trainwreck and can't look away. Delete it without reading. Be good to yourself.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Quick question: Why are you reading the texts she sends to you?
I don't mean this in a sarcastic or judgmental way, but in a gentle, concerned way. What are you getting out of reading what she sends?
Think about what you've gotten in the mail the past month. Any junk mail, free coupons, buy magazines letters? Is there anything you've gotten in the mail you just threw away without looking? Or have you gotten any emails that you didn't even open (like send money to Nigeria) or other spam?
You threw it away and probably didn't even think about it. If anything, you might - this very second - have to stop and think, did I throw stuff away? It didn't affect you at all, it's so meaningless.
That's what the OW texting you is...she's junk mail. She's spam. Who gives a flip about her?
There's a lot of good advice in this thread, but I've learned some good skills through IC before, and it's the idea that you do the actions that will help you so you can be healthy.
Whenever this creep of a woman texts you, before you read it ask yourself - Do I love him (your H), her (the OW), or me? If you read it, then it's the first two. If you ignore them, you are showing you love yourself.
And then block her phone # from your phone. There's no reason for her to contact you. Period.
I AGREE WITH SANDI2. I'M GOING THRU THE SAME SITCH NOW AND MY D WILL BE FINAL JULY 20TH! ALL THO OW IS NOT CONTACTING ME, STBXH IS AND PER MICHELE W.D. AND MY ATTY,,SAVING THOSE TM'S AND E-MAILS FROM THE LAST 5YRS WAS THE BEST THING I DID!! I FORWARDED THEM (TIME & DATE SENT TOO)TO MY ONLINE PERSONAL ACCT THRU MY CELL PROVIDER AND THEN COPIED THEM ALL TO PAPER FOR MY ATTY. STILL DOING IT TO THIS DAY B/C OF ALL THE INCONSISTENCIES MY ATTY SAID WILL PUT ME IN A BETTER POSITION AT THE TRIAL.
MY H HAS TOLD SO MANY LIES THAT THEY'RE CATCHING UP WITH HIM AND HE IS PERJURING HIMSELF IN HIS INTEROGATORIES. MY ATTY ALSO SAID THAT WHEN IT COMES TO THE KIDS MY COUNTY IS VERY HARD ON OP'S OR X'S WHO HARASS THE OTHER PARTY THRU THEIR CHILDREN,,ITS' A FORM OF ABUSE AND ITS' THE WORSE THING THEY CAN DO. THEY MIGHT AS WELL KISS THEIR CASE GOODBYE IF ITS' AFFECTING THE KIDS AND IS CONSTANT.
MY M COULDN'T BE SAVED SO I TRUST MICHELE WHEN SHE SAYS I NEED TO PROTECT MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN!!!
IMO,,FORWARD OR COPY THE TM'S TO PAPER OR INBOX AND THEN DELETE SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT THEM UNTIL OR IF YOU GET D'D. IT IS TRUE THAT CONTINUED EXPOSURE TO THIS KIND OF CRAP WILL ONLY INSPIRE YOU TO MAKE A BAD DECISION, BTDT,,YUCK! WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE YOU CAN THROW AWAY THE COPIES.
YOUR DOING GREAT B/C YOUR RISING ABOVE AND NOT LOWERING YOURSELF TO THEIR LEVEL,,THEY WILL HATE THAT MORE THAN ANYTHING AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BENEFIT BY WATCHING YOU RESPOND TO STRESSFUL SITCH'S APPROPRIATELY,,UNLIKE YOUR H & OW.
YEP,,JUST LIKE MY H & OW, THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER!! SEEMS THEY BOTH FEED OFF OF DRAMA,,ICKY!
KIM
M44H44 M18 T22 Sep7yrs-3/10 S23,22,15,11 10/07I file 2/08D postponed by H 2/09D on 3/09H moves in 8/09I kick H out 9/09H-PA 10/09-2/10mediate 3/10OW discoved 5/10H&OW engaged 7/10DDay w/atty
Thank you all so much for the advise. If she dares to text me again I will be forwaring it to another number and not read it. As we have a court case pending for childcare arrangments I do need to keep them. However in the meantime I wont be reading them or responding. It will not effect me.
In fact I am going to go for a makeover next weekend and then sign up to some dating websites - time to move on.
Any ideas on how to deal with the pickup - dropoff of childrean scenario as my XH still continues to bring her along in the car and parade her in the front of all our neighbours. I try to not look but it is really hurtful!!!
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
Yep. as soon as you start dating, she wont have anything to feed off anymore but will continue to talk about you and the same thing over and over and he will become jealous and they will have a wicked argument and argue and argue. And although it will be kinda funny it wont matter anymore...
Yep. as soon as you start dating, you will find a guy who is more attractive inside, more interested in you and cares about you more than whatshisname and you will wonder "where were you all my life." And although it will be kinda funny it wont matter anymore...
