"Driving on 2.5 hours of sleep is not recommended."
Imagine that.
"But I made it here safely."
Good to hear.
"My heels are dug into the ground."
Remember that. It will come up later.
"It isn't about the material things."
Remember this to.
"did you ever get angry at any point? or lose it on her? i haven't."
Well.. clearly you are about to. You are angry. You have lost it. It just really depends on what chair and keyboard you are using.
Yes.. I was very angry. Why should I have to move out. I have paid for 90% of this house. I worked so she could stay at home with the kids. Why.. should I have to move out? The L told me not to. My friends were telling me not to. The only place I had to go was Mom/Dads.. that sounds like fun.. right? I mean.. friends offered. But.. how long do you think their wives would let that go on? You have the means.. I didn't. Things are different.. but not really. We both "created" space. We both are not happy about that.
"i learned early on when they are in a fog like that, they don't hear you. so i stopped trying the beat the dead horse."
From your reactions so far.. I think you were trying to prove a point. How is that working out for now?
"when they come to their senses, what is it like at that point?"
If there was a "point".. I can't define it for you. There was so much going on at that point.. I honestly can't remember what "changed" things. I can tell you that when all that was going on.. I was just being brutally honest. Her issues were hers.. mine were mine. The silly part about it is that all I had to do was think about my GAL activity.. and my hands started hurting. Maybe it was the look of pain on my face..
"how do they get over some of the things they were 100% convinced was irreparable?"
They come to you. See.. they are making bad choices to. It's all the Emotion. Once they can no longer blame you.. cause you are not "around".. Who can they blame? The things they say.. are based in half truths. Think "Fish Story". Things get bigger the more the story is told.
"when you detached, didn't you feel conflicted? you love her yet you must pull away."
At first.. yes.
"i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle. i love him. and i know fighting for it is the right thing to do."
So....
"it feels like i'm fighting stage 4 cancer. the cancer has spread everywhere throughout."
The first part of your statement.. is based in Emotion.. and inference.
The second part.. begs the question.. Why?
That should be your focus. You have touched on it "here". But you have so much to learn.
"that's why i waffle. i am trying to make someone love me who says they no longer love me."
You can't make someone love you. They do so because of their choice. You were good enough once.. I suspect you could possibly be again.
You forgot how to play the game.
Nothing is any different now than when you were first dating. History.. just makes it a tiny bit harder.
"i'm easy going as well."
Vindictive.. too. I understand.
"i'm doing better. but it was best for me to be away."
I agree. I see the old you returning to the surface.
So.. to sum up.
I think you have your heels dug in on the wrong set of circumstances. It is not the material things that are making you react this way. It is the action of him "digging" at you that keeps you reacting. As long as you keep doing this you will continue to find yourself never moving forward. You will be stuck.. just like you are now. It takes someone with heart.. and "gumption" to do something different. It takes someone with a naive perspective to push things. Even if you get all the words wrong.. let your actions stand out.
Dig your heels into something more solid than the material things. It will be so much easier to stand up.. even if you "loose".
It's your choice. Always has been.
Live like you are.. or throw caution to the wind.. and see what happens.
This little "transaction" you find yourself in.. will define you for the rest of your life. Bet on that!
Who do you want to be?
How do you want the world to "see" you?
Again.. you choose.
Hope you have a great weekend.. and sleep well.
And remember...
Always..
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
