I haven't been on the boards much so I haven't been completely up to speed with everyone's sitch. But I started checking in today on a few people's to see how they are doing.
I agree with 25 in let go. I think the austrailian bush is a great example to use. You have to get to a point like that. I am now at the point and have been for some time where I don't want to know what my W is doing. I don't ask. I'd rather not know. It is easier to not think about it if I don't know. We live separately. She is in her world, I am in mine. I think about what I need to do and what I have coming up and how I am going to handle my situations.
You said you have been at this 18 months. While nobody can tell you the future timeline, I think 2 more years isn't unreasonable. Could be sooner, could be longer. But by you imagining him gone and out of touch, it does force you to think about your own life and what you are going to do with it. It is a good thing. I had to get to that point. I am now at 21 months from the second bomb. 28 months if you want to count the first one.
Your H will have no where to go but up once he hits rock bottom and that is when you might hopefully start seeing some positive changes in him and maybe, maybe in your sitch.
Life can be hard, yet enjoyable. It all depends on your outlook. My life isn't always easy. It is down right difficult at times. But you just have to take the difficult situations and find the best way to work through them and they will pass. They always do.
Quote:
I don't know why I feel better but I do. I just hope I don't slide back again.
I'll be honest. I am not convinced you have detached. You go through periods where you feel better and then something may happen and you revert back. It is a roller coaster. But you might think about when you do feel better, what was it that made you feel better? And how can you apply that same feeling and circumstance again if you start sliding back? I think if you are feeling better, it is important to know why if possible.
Take care,
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
