I think my mistake was that, after exposing the affair, I tried to convince exH that home is where he belonged; that I would forgive him, that I could change the things that had made him unhappy, that he had the power to save the family, for us, for the kids. Pursuing behavior. I honestly went crazy with it. Unattractive and desperate.
I think the advice here is to be prepared to walk away from someone who doesn't recognize your worth; leave it in their lap. I was trying way too hard to fix it.
Very true. Exposure DOES make things more difficult, in a lot of ways, and stirs up a lot of anger. If you then follow that up with pursuing behavior, then you've riled the hornets for nothing.
There are right ways and wrong ways of exposing. If I had to list my order of preference, it would be:
1. Expose the right way. 2. Don't expose at all. 3. Expose the wrong way.
