OK, I admit to cheating and looking at Allen's post. i think where we differ is that you see the wife as a passive recipient of the OM's interest, and I see a woman pursuing another man, in fact, desperate to jump ship into a new relationship. You describe the OM as a predator. I see him as an accomplice, or maybe even a bumbler who got caught up in her imagination. I see a woman who is childlike and at an adolescent stage, who dreams of weddings and knights on white steeds racing in to whisk beautiful princesses away from evil ogre husbands. And lo, and behold! She is a beautiful princess (albeit with headaches and bad moods) who needs rescuing!
