They had a big fight and he told the supervisor OIN's wife was pursuing him and he got his shifts changed...
I always qualify with "if" the affair is over and out of her head.. and I think its leaving now slowly...
I think it's been pretty well established that OM has been full of chit from the get-go as to what his relationship with OIN's wife has been, and who's been pursuing, etc.
OIN has been trying to "convince his wife to cooperate with him" for as long as he's been posting here. I don't see it working, and supplication rarely (ever??) does.
The OM has been leading OIN's wife on for months... so that route wasn't effective no...
I am not advocating supplication, but I am advocating not attacking one's wife saying "you're no prize"
I cant' see that winning anyone any points at home either way... Nor waking them up to reality... Its borderline name calling...
I think it's been pretty well established that OM has been full of chit from the get-go as to what his relationship with OIN's wife has been, and who's been pursuing, etc.
So now we are to believe all of this?
I don't.
Puppy
OK, that's fair enough... If you want more proof that's reasonable... I may be misreading the confidence in OIN's posts about the situation... we will have to wait to hear from him about the state of the nation...
I was given the strong impression from his posts that the affair was indeed crashing to pieces now finally...
OK, I admit to cheating and looking at Allen's post. i think where we differ is that you see the wife as a passive recipient of the OM's interest, and I see a woman pursuing another man, in fact, desperate to jump ship into a new relationship. You describe the OM as a predator. I see him as an accomplice, or maybe even a bumbler who got caught up in her imagination. I see a woman who is childlike and at an adolescent stage, who dreams of weddings and knights on white steeds racing in to whisk beautiful princesses away from evil ogre husbands. And lo, and behold! She is a beautiful princess (albeit with headaches and bad moods) who needs rescuing!
Did no expect to come home and see so much activity in this thread. Thank you all for the feedback.
Here is how today went.
After work, W showered and slept for a couple hours. She got up and dressed to leave. We took a ride to the mall to Dave & Busters. We played a bunch of arcade games then did some bowling. We had a pretty good time. It was almost like 2 friends hanging out.
There were times were W was kind of short with me where she would say "hmm?" or "what?" or "umm hmm" things like that. I guess this is something I have to tolerate for now.
After we too a walk around the mall then left and headed to another store. It was a craft store and W talked about getting picture frames to put pictures on our dogs on the wall.
W then headed to a hardware store and W talked about getting a few things for the yard, I said nothing really other than "That would be nice" I was looking at vertical blinds for out living room W and I had interest in the same color/style. W asked "Do you want to get them" I replied "If you like them and want them, then get them. I do like them myself" W did purchase them.
We then headed home. When we arrived the dog had a mess waiting for us. We both cleaned up the mess. We then laid in bed and played a little family feud.
We communicated better today and had a pretty good time at the arcade and bowling. I am trying my best to fill that "void" without pursuing. There were times I wanted to press my luck but refrained from doing so. I am doing my best to develop a friendship and becoming someone she is comfortable around and talk to.
I don't know if there were any interactions with OM at work today or any discussion about him between her or anyone else.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
Also I wanted to add that W suggested we cut down pine trees (3) in front of our home. They are causing her allergies to act up and it would open the front yard up ect... I said "That sound's good and all but I don't have the time nor money to do that. How about you get your father to take them down." W replied "I will have to ask my father is her knows anyone."
OK about OM...This argument/blow up happened on Wed. My W called off work Thurs and Friday. Today then both worked but from my understanding OM requested to work on opposite level on Sat. leaving them to work together 2 days a week. I am not sure how today went. My good friend was told if he seen them having ANY contact that he should let me know right away. OM is under the impression that he is being watched all the time. Tomorrow they work together it won't be directly but they will at least see each other.
OM told a sup. at work is a good friends with OMW about the issues involving my W. OM is putting all blame on my W...we'll see how it goes in the next week.
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
EXCELLENT.. the more he blames her to people at work the more TURNED OFF SHE will be be to OM... Let him dig his grave...
I had thought that they weren't going to work at all anymore... hmmm
Good news on the interaction front OIN....
If you can keep days like that going I don't see any need to tell your wife she's "no prize"... I can't see that helping
I agree with Lotus that your wife daydreams alot and has idealistic expectations of a spouse... She's spot on there.
But insulting your wife isn't the way to motivate her to grow up in my opinion...
It will be interesting to see if FIL is willing to do work on YOUR HOME OIN for YOUR WIFE... THAT will be an interesting change of pace...
You might want to see if she wants FIL to do any more work around there... Imagine, him having to take time out of working on your wife's escape route to work on YOUR home instead...
Keep up the good work. I think you are doing great.
I'm off the advice stuff now that you're back to figuring out what stage the R with OM is.
I felt I had to speak up when a poster said the best advice was for OIN to start interacting with other women for some confidence. I'm just not a fan of that advice. It does not help divorce bust. It distracts and has potential to do more harm than good.
