It seems to me that much of the "softball" approach here is being based on this assumption:
OIN's wife has ended her affair, ended contact with OM, and is in withdrawal.
Even if that were TRUE (and I am FAR from certain that it is), there's a HUGE difference between a FWAW that is moody and in withdrawal, but is contrite, remorseful, and just having good and bad days showing her husband a loving attitude.
When my wife ended her affair, she was truly remorseful, and said all of the right things. Then she'd have a couple of good days, and then she'd be Evil Incarnate again for a day, full of venom and entitlement again, but then she'd apologize and then the fit would be over.
I'm seeing NONE of that from OIN's wife, and I'm really seeing NO DISTINCTION in her treatment of him now, vs. her treatment of him when he first came to this forum.
I just think that sometimes crap behavior is crap behavior. Someone please show me the GOOD cycles here! This woman has never recanted her current desire (and plan) to divorce OIN, and she's never exhibited an ounce of remorse.
