When you STARTED to play HARD BALL with your wife... That's when OM and your wife's affair got stirred up...
In my opinion the more pressure you put on your wife right now to do both of these :
a. Explore repairing a damaged marriage b. Separate from her family to pursue life independently
The more she starts to WAKE UP
You said the SEP ORDER was THICK yes?
Ken, if its something you have to work a lot on for weeks and weeks?
Start filling the sucker out...
a. Put it on your desk b. Leave it in the open c. Put articles around it about how to repair a marriage - especially about ENDING AFFAIRS as being the FIRST STEP - Peny Tupy's article about the tree is a good one there...
You start to work on that... its going to piss her off and stress her out...
She will see a clock is ticking... You fill that sucker out.
a. Don't cook her meals b. Don't do her laundry c. Don't do anything for her
Keep the pressure on her... You CAN get her OUT of your HOME if you wanted to... We gave you tons of examples of how to make life there not worth it...
My favourite is to invite others to your home that she won't like.. It will mirror what SHE'S doing.
Start looking for someone to handle child care... put articles about for "How to evaluate day care services" etc
Your wife needs to see you are preparing to oust her.
She doesn't want to leave the security of your home... So you will yes have to drive her away... But it CAN be done.
I think stirring the pot over the affair will take a lot of the excitement out of it, it seems to have done that earlier.
I just think you need to put a time clock on this sucker Ken so your wife takes you seriously...
Do NOT NEGOTIATE DEALS with her.. It just makes you look weak
If she wants to save the marriage contact is OVER.. no six months and then she can call him again or any of that crap.
She has to agree to end contact and put 100% into repairing the marriage.. PERIOD...
