screwing up big time and need help

[elvencat]

Thanks, NM. That's the same impression I have of her and I know she makes H feel needed and since I've been trying to take care of most of my own emotional problems the past year instead of dumping all my daily drama on my husband, I have no doubt the feeling needed part is a big deal for him.

I'm about to do something stupid. H is hurting pretty bad today. He didn't go over to OW's house last night and he isn't going tonight- he usually goes either Friday or Saturday at least one of those nights. He asked me to stay with him and DD tonight so MIL wouldn't have to take care of DD tonight. I would take DD to other house, but it is NOT in any kind of shape to have a 3 yr old stay over night.

He matter-of-factly asked me, and I just looked at him. He said I didn't have to, but he'd appreciate it. I didn't give him an answer for a good half hour. I finally came to the conclusion that it would hurt my new found sense of starting to detach, but that since this is the first time he's actually asked for my help, rather than me pushing him into asking, I'd go ahead and agree for tonight.

He gave a little, so I'll give a little. I really need to bust butt on getting the other house cleaned up now so that I can have DD over there. Then if he asks for help, he cad drop her off and it'll be on him that he isn't spending as much time as he could with DD instead of me accommodating him.