WAH in MLC with PA

[DiamondGirl]

I've made a decision that I feel is best for me and my kids, though it was a difficult one.

My mom, though good hearted, is very difficult to live with. I am no prize either, but she is very controlling, demanding and needy. She seems to rely on people doing things for her (that she could do herself) in order to feel important or loved. If you don't, she sulks or gets mad. She yells frequently, does not take care of her own health or needs, and talks incessantly.

The second I walk in after work she starts talking, "suggesting" tasks of me and complains about what my son has done that was so wrong that day.

She won't take the hint about someone having a bad day and wanting privacy and quiet...she won't take direct requests for the same either.

I know that having to move her hoarded stuff (truckloads) and subsequent attitude after we all moved into the same house together played a part in the way my M ended and on my H frustration (not to mention the romantic side of our M).

I will not let a future R (whether with H or another man) be jeopardized by her negativity. I won't let my kids go through what I did (I walked on eggshells around her as I was growing up). I will not let myself continue to go through it now.

I have tried to communicate to her gently (and sometimes a little more directly) her affect on the household, but she doesn't see herself or her impact.

So tonight we discussed her moving out on her own for the first time in her life, and for the first time in mine I will be on my own as well.

I told her that I wanted to preserve the R she and I finally have rather than damage it further by continuing to live together unhappily.

I know that it will be tough going to no longer have her here as a backup body to watch the kids, but I'm willing to trust that I'll be fine.

It's Scary, but exciting and it feels like the right choice for me and the kids.