still separated, headed for D?

[newmama]

Wow, how nice to return to such positive posts from my DB friends!

I went to my best friend's place last night, went to Happy Hour where we ordered a bunch of appetizers and a couple of beers but I was able to pay for it with a $50 gift card WH got me a couple years ago! HAHA!

Then we went back to her place, swapped ghost stories (her H was watching Ghost Hunters- one of my favs) and then started watching "Into the Wild" with Emile Hirsch playing Chris McCandless...a young college grad who hitchiked his way to Alaska to live off the wild and died there. It was such a good movie- so compelling- it was the 2nd time I had seen it and I just couldn't tear my eyes away! We were initially going to watch half and then finish the rest in the a.m. but none of us wanted to stop watching so we stayed up til 1:30- and the kids woke up at 7 a.m.!

Well this a.m. we ended up getting our nails done (pedicure for me) and I barely arrived back in time to beat WH and S! WH was dropping S off. Oh and tomorrow is WH's b-day so I picked up a Happy B-Day Dad card (it was kind of lame) and threw in a snack bag of cheese Combos. I debated on whether to acknowledge his b-day, but he acknowledged mine (from S).

So when I gave it to WH he softened and was grateful: "THANK YOU but you didn't have to!" and Ididn't say "you're welcome" or respond at all...I hope I was able to keep my detached 180 side but also show I had manners if you know what I mean.

WH went to the bathroom then hung out while I played with S (only for 5 minutes but it felt forever). He was reporting lots of little details about S (I didn't ask anything other than when did he take his a.m. nap). Finally he is about to leave and just says "See you guys tomorrow- oh I mean Monday." I made some comment about the schedule being normal this week. Then he still takes forever to say goodbye and S starts crawling over to him, all excited. Finally I say "it's getting sad- you better go!" (meaning S wanted to stay with WH longer and he is dragging it out) and I closed the door behind him!

WN- I remember hearing that the dopamine wears off around 15 months...so I would think maybe you are right about the OWs in our sitches starting to sense it and getting all dramatic!

BD-I followed the suggestion of meditating first thing when I wake up and then right before I go to bed. You are right about practice- there are sometimes when I can't "quiet" my brain but I would say 75% time I can focus, hone in on picturing WH coming to talk to me and starting the R talk. What is funny is that it feels kind of like I am dreaming it, and kind of like I am watching it...it is a similar sensation as to when I used to play the piano and my fingers played the music while my mind was somewhere else! Or when painting with acrylics! Anyway I usually say a prayer right before, too. Geesh- am doing whatever I can I guess.

CW-I have heard of Steve Harvey's book- but I bet it says "leave the jerk!" when it comes to cheating! or does it? Have you read it?

FM-Did something happen that made you think the best isn't possible? I will read your thread next. It's just that when I think "yeah right- how would WH be able to face this mistakes he has made and decide to go back and suddenly desire me again?"

I get inspired by the success stories on here, my SIL and her H, my therapist telling me about his clients who never end up divorcing or those that remarried.

Plus, we aren't finished with the divorce process. Heck he hasn't even filed the first papers! Has your H?