I am real respectful of your point of view. What I'm talking about is being effective and what yields results. The manner in which I am describing this is not a desperate ploy at all. Its a well managed situation, where OIN gets the type of attention that he should be getting from his wife. Over time, if that is going to be his wife she will fill that hole. Right now, in the interactions he is going through it is stripping him of his masculinity over time.
He's giving her a high quality interaction and alot of time, but he's not getting much in return. She's getting used to this.
Thats what I don't like. I wasn't prescribing cheating, simply spending time with people who want to spend time with him.
THIS ABOVE is EXACTLY HOW INFIDELITY STARTS ^ ^ ^
There are LOT of spouses who were and are having trouble with their marriages who are NOT getting their needs met by their spouse... many of them do exactly what you suggest, spend time with OS until partner starts to cooperate... guess what? This is how many affairs start!!!
This is terrible advice, I am sorry, but this advice is NOT going to improve the situation at home... And spending time with the OS to make ONESELF feel better isn't going to improve a marriage at home, its going to make it WORSE
Originally Posted By: DaddyLongShanks
Right now its not his wife, and if he lays back for several weeks ot a month or so maybe she will return.
I don't believe being up as close as he is to her will work. Plus she is getting used to dishing what she is, and still getting like I said a highly focused OIN and alot of his time. She will figure if she gets all that out of him without putting anything out, why should she change anything?
I don't think so either, I think OIN should lay low, be inviting when he's there, but NOT be in her face all day long... As long as the need for companionship is NOT being offered by or filled by OM, then I say let his wife stew... And be out and about...
But I do NOT reccomend socializing with the opposite sex right now
1. It's way too tempting for OIN 2. It in my opinion will trigger his wife to head out bar-hopping as well
