I think what your W said about what most women would have done if they had been M to you is probably right. So you throw things when you are angry? I can promise you that this gal would not have put up with that for a second. But, when she mentioned it you responded as if it was the first you knew about it.
I have been talking with a couple who has the same problems. He treated her like a piece of cr@p for all the years they were M. He claims what he did was not "that" bad. I think he has made himself believe that, and it might be that it was b/c she kept forgiving him and putting up with him.
Men can't seem to understand how a woman can "continually" forgive the H and then one day it's like they can't do it anymore. She's done, through, ready to get out of it.
Anyway, I wonder if you are trying to downplay your anger and other faults to her. I got that impression in your letter to her.
It makes no difference to me, but if you try to make "her" think that it's just her feelings and that you really weren't that bad, then you're cutting your own throat. She knows what's what. The Bible says to "confess" our sins, which means to "state" what it is. It would help you and your W if you would actually state what you did to hurt her instead of just trying to put it in one basket and refer to it as your faults. I don't mean state it here, but tell her. It must be hard for some men to do b/c you are not the only one who seems to have that problem, but it would be very healing for both you & your W.
Back to the couple I've talked to.....she told me she just wanted him to admit what he's done. He won't. So, they won't be getting back together. Sad, huh? Pride is a terrible thing.....or is it stubborness?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
