Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

CityGirl, all good advice. Thanks again.

I don't think my W trusts me that we can afford the house now. Maybe she doesn't trust that I will keep a job? She used to tell me that I wouldn't like just any job. She thought I would be unhappy and blame her for forcing me to take a job I didn't like. This was BS. I didn't appreciate her telling me how I would feel and also that she was more worried about how whatever job I took would make her feel...feel like I was unhappy with it and blame her.

I'm not on the house right now because she would want me to pay for the utilities and such. I have no problem paying half but she won't go for that. Things are kind of tight right now for another month or two as I'm saving to go back to school. I applied for a few grants but didn't qualify because my income is above the eligibility level. So I'm paying for it on my own. There's a good chance I can move back in the house in a month or two if it hasn't sold. I miss my house and I would love to move back when possible. You are correct that I really wouldn't have to buy her out as there's not that much equity.

I like to think I'm a nice guy. My W has never dealt well with any kind of life crisis. She has always been a bury her head in the sand type of person. During my companies struggles, I was the one dealing with it even though she worked at my company with me. When the house problems came up, you guessed it, I was the one to deal with the bank. I didn't mind taking the leadership role as the H to protect my W from dealing with the stress (I have learned to deal with problems pretty well), but it would have been nice for my W to at least give me some emotional support...like I always did for her. It would have been nice if she knew what I was going through.

Yes, I feel like I should put my foot down a bit more with her now. If I bring up the money she will bring up wanting to sign a separation agreement or talk about how I was using our joint money for non-joint items...BS on that one. I would have no problem bringing up her needing to help with the house. She could come in and clean once a week. I mow the yard and take care of the yardwork every week. Actually I enjoy doing the yardwork. I know her answer. She will say she will use our joint money to pay for someone to clean the house each week. I don't want to spend our joint money on that when she should be helping. So what's the choice in this situation? I feel like she'll blow it off again. What if she does? As I see it there's not much I can do but huff and puff...what action can I take here? I'm open to any advice.

Looking at other peoples threads it seems like most are at least in communication with their Ws. I know my W and I don't have kids and that reduces the reasons we would need to communicate. However, it's been 7 months and still no talk from W other than about house or business stuff. I don't think I remember reading another sitch where the couple didn't talk about the R in 7 months. She hasn't emailed me back from my reply yesterday. No surprise there. Since I waited so long she will probably wait too. Gotta love this game playing.

I know I pushed her back with the flowers and it will take some time to make-up for that one. A few more emails from her lately is better I guess. Maybe she's a bit more comfortable now (after the flower mistake) that she feels she can start communicating again...even if it's just about the house for now.

Thanks for listening.