Mila, I think something was pointed out that was worth repeating. Boundary. I think from the sounds of it, you need to set boundaries. Proper boundaries. Why? For your sake. He doesn't know what those boundaries are and needs to. I don't think you really know what they are either (that many years married can really blur the line of boundaries, right?) and need to even more. Setting the boundaries is a good first step to getting the respect you deserve. No matter what else happens in this relatinoship, you do deserve that respect. It'll come, and you will take it there. It's your respect and you have to learn to get it. From others as well. You have it in you, I can see that. Now it's time to show it and live it. It'll be much better for you when you do.
There is anger. There is the desire to lash out in that anger. It's just that the anger and hurt aren't the important parts to focus on right now. The way through starts with your self-esteem. That begins with setting and enforcing boundaries. I think you'll see some of that when you read that book as well. People only want what they don't or can't have
Focus more on you, Mila. You need to rebuild you. You are starting to take the steps anyway, and part of that is not letting him to hurt you any more. Lifesaving steps: start the breathing (done), stop the bleeding(this phase), treat the wound (next), treat for shock (last).
You are doing very well for the circumstances, Mila. Really. AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
