Divorce in 1 month Help with exposing please need

[twolf]

ok allen she has moved out to mothers house i did call this mans work.
Is seems that MIL is tottaly for this she said that our marrige was a mistake.This coming from a womman that did the same thing that my wife is doing. She left and divorced her first husband a returned two years later they got remarried and FIL divorced her when BIL graduated highscholl. its amazing when me and wife got married how much MIL loved me butt once babby was born i she could say that we need to move neer them and how much i was like wifes real dad and have her locked away in the country. Me and MIL used to talk all the time.

The maid of honnor at our wedding knows all about it.Seems like she suports it she was freinds with this guy to. Funny we were their for her when she found out that her husband had an affair and they divorced and she still wanted to stay married to him.

WAW step dad i just filed him in he was in the dark. She started telling him that i was trying to takeson and making excusses. we texted i tryed to tell him she is just trying to take pressure off of me exposing the affair.Asked him if MIL knew he said he didnt know. Asked him about his first marrige and asked him how it felt when his first wife left him fo another man. he said it sucked and he wish some one would of told him before anything happened.He still wont marry MIL they have been together for 9 years.

They had a birthday party for my son and the other mans mother was their and My FIl was not invited he has not seen his grand son in six months.

She is hanging out with diffrent freinds who are suporrting this even if i said anything to them it would not matter because i barlley new them before we got married.


WAW real dad she wont talk to him anymore after he asked her if she was having an affair so lost cause their.

WAW MIL joint freinds that were at or wedding i told them and they told WAW and MIL showed them my letter.

I know that She wont listen to BIL he tryed telling her .

Her grandmother plays dumb and says its none of her buisnes she was mariied and divorsed five times . MIL calls her stepdad her real dad.

It just makes me sick to think that this man that help brake up my family is hanging around my son and once the divorce gets finalized they will get a house together and people have no moral values.

I know looking at the phone calls she made most of them to him.


Im just trying to get a game plan i dont know if i have any cards left to play???????????

[twolf]

Ok im thinking of starting a face book page and have all the pics from mine and my wifes life Freinds family the birth of our child and what is happing and what i know and sending an email to every one that is involved in this event to show them i still care about my marrige. I could find out who is visiting the sight the most etc.

Does any wan think this would be a good idea???

[Allen A]

It may be a bit late to put up a face book page celebrating your marriage NOW... it would just look desperate in my opinion.

You want to focus on OM and how meddlesome this is..

More important TWolf...

1. I am NOT suggesting you get these people to TALK to your wife... Where did you get that idea?
2. I am NOT suggesting you text people quietly
3. I AM suggesting you ASK people to CUT your WIFE OUT of their social circle as long as she is cheating on you - and ask them to INFORM her WHY your wife and OM are no longer welcome to visit them or contact hem
4. I AM suggesting you go to OM's place of work, in PERSON, and make a SCENE accusing him of being a sleaze and attacking your family and having sex with your wife.. - humiliate this man in this workplace - Note, I don't know the "harassment" laws in your area so you will have to weigh this one
5. You could have your BIL visit OM"s home and apply some pressure - etc... scare the guy off

You want to make BOTH of them find this affair to be STRESSFUL, EMBARRASING, and DESTRUCTIVE

IF OM has to be humiliated in his workplace, yoru wife loses all her freinds, and OM has your buddies following him around making him nervous, THESE things will make them think twice about what they are doing, but it has to be THEM that want it over.. you have to make it NOT WORTH IT.. GOT IT?

Find leverage you can and apply it...

Stop texting quietly.. visit people in PERSON, get your face out there... Texts look cheap and sleazy... COWARDS who violate homes text people ... MEN talk FACE to FACE and show respect... got it?

Plus, your spelling is a challenge for you so stop writing to people, sorry, but bad spelling really turns people off. Mine is a challenge to, but for formal letters I use a spell checker and I don't know if you are that PC savvy yet

EVERYONE who agrees to support you, visit them, take them a gift, THANK them in PERSON for agreeing to support you... get thsoe contacts out there

If you HAD made more BONDS with wife's social circle earlier this may nto have happened... tune out your wife's contacts at yoru own risk.. I think you get that now..

[twolf]

Ok update Waw wife called to let me talk to son.
We ended up me talking about wanting her to let me talk to son on saturday she said no' she has a wedding to go to. a close freind of hers and the other man.

I asked her her if her freind getting married feels that a couple of cheaters should be seen at a wedding together.

She got mad and said their is no affair that i dont know what im talking about. Then MIL in the background said some thing and i said that people know that MIL is supporting this and what she has been saying about me. She hung up on me.

She then texted me.

WAW... Do yourself a favor stop trying i have moved on I can't deal with your insanity. do not contact me anymore. you make me sick to my stomach. I regret marring you, the only good thing that came out our marrige is our son.

Me....Do you seriously think that i'm a bad guy for trying to save our marrige and our family.I'm trying to have faith when i made my wedding said my wedding vows it was for better or worse' and this is the worse.So many people our on our side you dont even know it.


WAW....I dont want you anywhere near me in any sence. leave me alone. DO NOT CONTACT ME>


ME....Ok if thats what you want' buttwhen it comes to our son that we conceived do not hold my son back.
Do not call me patetic when i mentioned what we went through and how we held each other and cryied.
I dont like the fact that the other man is around our son.
He was not their just you I and our parents.
He will allways know that i fought my ass off to save our family.
If that is pathetic i really feel sorry for your husband and sons dad.

WAW....You are no longer my husband let it go.

ME....I know that you say that if it it makes you sleep better you keep telling yourself that.
Just rember our son will be in a brocken home because his mom decided to take comfort in another man.
I kept my wedding vows if this makes you sleep better then go for it, butt you and i will allways know what the truth is.

WAW.... you dont know what you are talking about.
DO NOT CONTACT ME. I WILL CALL THE POLICE....AGAIN

ME.... I just want to ask you one thing. Would O/M fight for you if you were his wife hell no.
Would he take a bullet for you or my son no.
Butt i would and you know it.
The next time you go out tell him that some one said some thing mean to you, who do you thimk would fight for your honor. I garantee not him.

WAW....Pyscho.....DO NOT CONTACT ME....

ME ....You have my att.. number, ive allready fought one false R/O and was proven in court that the things you said i said to you were false. you even addmited to the jusdge that i didn't say those things and the judge said if you dont want to take my calls or answer my text then dont answer them.
This is public record so i have let everyone know that they can go to the court house and see the court report.that i'm not the bad guy that you would have everyone belive....
sincerly your husband and sons father...

ME....if im upsetting you so bad wy do you keep texting back and ive never called you any name so please stop.
Buy the way Next time you call my att Which i didnt have on retainer and ask what im doing , i want you know that i have given permission for FIL to call i have nothing to hide.


Today im sick to my stomach. That right after she left that son got attacked buy MIL german shepard he was 1 1/2 and had 26 stiches in his head and face.She sent him off to her grand mothers wy she and O/M could play house for a week and she never told me. then i filed separation papers.

This is my next attack on her and O/M i will let everyone know i belive this is my next affair busting method i need to use.Twolf

[Allen A]

Some of this is good, some of it is bad TWolf

I asked her her if her freind getting married feels that a couple of cheaters should be seen at a wedding together.

This is ok... You ARE picking a fight here, but I dont' think its that bad

She got mad and said their is no affair that i dont know what im talking about. Then MIL in the background said some thing and i said that people know that MIL is supporting this and what she has been saying about me. She hung up on me.

That's good... Keep your wife in the loop on what the town is saying about her... people don't like being gossipped about

Me....Do you seriously think that i'm a bad guy for trying to save our marrige and our family.I'm trying to have faith when i made my wedding said my wedding vows it was for better or worse' and this is the worse.So many people our on our side you dont even know it.

This is excellent

ME....Ok if thats what you want' butt when it comes to our son that we conceived do not hold my son back.
Do not call me patetic when i mentioned what we went through and how we held each other and cryied.
I dont like the fact that the other man is around our son.
He was not their just you I and our parents.
He will allways know that i fought my ass off to save our family.
If that is pathetic i really feel sorry for your husband and sons dad.

Don't say "If that's what you want" Just keep hitting home the fact that the town is gossiping about her and that everyone knows she's cheating... NEVER VALIDATE anything she says that's negative... ignore it

ME....I know that you say that if it it makes you sleep better you keep telling yourself that.
Just rember our son will be in a brocken home because his mom decided to take comfort in another man.
I kept my wedding vows if this makes you sleep better then go for it, butt you and i will allways know what the truth is.

Don't say "go for it"... NEVER ENDORSE her to continue. Don't say stuff like that... just tell her

1. She's cheating
2. She's hurting her family
3. The whole town is gossiping about her
4. You are keeping your commitment

Those are the key points you want to stick to

ME.... I just want to ask you one thing. Would O/M fight for you if you were his wife hell no.
Would he take a bullet for you or my son no.
Butt i would and you know it.
The next time you go out tell him that some one said some thing mean to you, who do you thimk would fight for your honor. I garantee not him.

Attack what he's doing instead : Would I hop into bed with a married woman who had a son AND a HUSBAND who wanted to save their marriage? That guy is SICK.. Keep him away from our son.

ME ....You have my att.. number, ive allready fought one false R/O and was proven in court that the things you said i said to you were false. you even addmited to the jusdge that i didn't say those things and the judge said if you dont want to take my calls or answer my text then dont answer them.
This is public record so i have let everyone know that they can go to the court house and see the court report.that i'm not the bad guy that you would have everyone belive....
sincerly your husband and sons father...

This is pretty good, you want her to realize that the town thinks horribly of her.. she has an idea in her head that everyone thinks she's a poor helpless victim innocent of any wrongdoing... if you and the TOWN in particular can work to convince her that SHE is the bad guy as long as she's cheating, it will wear on her and the affair will more likely end.

ME....if im upsetting you so bad wy do you keep texting back and ive never called you any name so please stop.
Buy the way Next time you call my att Which i didnt have on retainer and ask what im doing , i want you know that i have given permission for FIL to call i have nothing to hide.

This is good to... no name calling. Just focus on how embarassing what she is doing is to HER... she doens't want to be embarassed.

TWolf here is the secret ingredient : Women don't want to be seen with men the whole town thinks is a sleazeball

Your wife is working to LEGITIMIZE this guy.. taking him to weddings, denying they are having sex etc.... She wants the town to think this guy is mr cool.

If you keep hitting home to your wife AND you can get adequate support from the community to convince your wife this guy is NOT someone the town respects, she WILL DUMP HIM

Women do not want to date someone that no one respects, she wont' have anything to do with him.

YOU need to look like the pillar of the community while ruining this guy's name... NO LIES... just tell the TRUTH and EXPOSE him.. he's a sleazeball... make sure the town knows it and your wife won't want to be around him anymore

[twolf]

I forgot her last text i dont even know how i could ever reply to this one it is so hurtfull and i belive it to be untrue/

WAW...text to me.....

DO NOT CONTACT ME UNLESS IT IS REGAURDING OUR SON....
You make my life a living hell. I will never forgive you for your horid behavior. You are to proud and distorted to realize that i left you because i didn't love you.The fact that you still refer to me as your wife makes me sickens me.
Wake up. We are over.......Accept it and stop causing drama..

If i would of stayed with you i would ended up a un happy and bitter person,what kind of mother could i have been to our son.

I have noyhing left to say to you enjoy your fictious make belive world...



Has anyone ever experinced any thing like this and what would someone even say???? And she has said nothing about denying the affair as the other day she was denying it even after she told me. She only started denying it only when i told the father inlaw.

TWOLF

[Allen A]

YES.. MOST of us in fact...

She is ADDICTED... she will say a LOT of terrible things.

Divorce Remedy book makes it VERY clear that you are to IGNORE all of that.

TWolf, the GOLD here is that the work you are doing is causing her a lot of STRESS... That's GOOD.. Keep it UP

She doen'st WANT you to EXPOSE, that mean's she's VULNERABLE... Keep doing it.

Make the affair into a town scandal they are both embarassed about.. it sounds like you are doing that anyways... but keep it up

[twolf]

How do you even start to peice it back together once you do break up the affair?

What can i expect if she does want to work on the marrige?

How many people will think im an idiot and what should i tell them about what im trying to do?

Will the people that dont support what im doing and think that im crazy ever accept me into their lives again.

I think i wll expose the sons dog bite and expose how she was shacked up O/M and she sent son to grandmas so her and O/M could have a little Affair time and the real reason i filed seperation. and the truth is that they were seeing each other prior to that.

She has told some people that they didnt start seeing each other till after the fact and they are just freinds.

I know this is going to be a big blow up and i will have to get back out of the way on this one.


This will be one of my big Ace in the hole.

[sandi2]

How do you even start to peice it back together once you do break up the affair?

It can be done, and it has been done right here on the board. But for now, you have to deal with what's facing you in the present....and that's her A. As long as she's having an A, there's no hope for a happy M with her.

What can i expect if she does want to work on the marrige?

The key word here is "want". The problem is not when the WAW "wants" to work on the M.....it is when she doesn't want to. Again, this is in the future and you need to keep your steps in order.

Perhaps you meant what could you expect from her as any hope in working on the M if you exposed?

How many people will think im an idiot and what should i tell them about what im trying to do?

Will the people that dont support what im doing and think that im crazy ever accept me into their lives again.

I have never seen it work like that. It is usually when the man pretends nothing is happing....or he admits she's in an A but he does nothing to stop it. As for what people with think of you....they usually respect a man for doing what is right in order to save his M. But the important issue is for you to do what "you" believe is right and not worry what other people will think......ESPECIALLY those who don't support you. Why would you care or want them to accept you back into their lives again? If they do not agree with your stand against this A, then you do not need them in your life.

I think i wll expose the sons dog bite and expose how she was shacked up O/M and she sent son to grandmas so her and O/M could have a little Affair time and the real reason i filed seperation. and the truth is that they were seeing each other prior to that.

Be very certain about your steps in exposing. Do not just test the waters to see what reaction you'll get. Be ready to hit hard and fast and for her to deal with the fallout. Allen & Puppy will give you all the help you need, but you must follow directions carefully and don't go out half-cocked about what you're doing.

[Allen A]

I like the idea about the dog bite TWolf but...

DO NOT do it without a PLAN

Script EXACTLY what you are going to say AHEAD of time on paper or on your computer.

Do you have photos of the bite?

Be sure to point out that the bite occurred when your wife was partying with OM and the child was in her care.

Did OM help at all to take the boy to the doctor or anything? If he just sat around the whole time to have sex with your wife SAY THAT.

You want to paint this guy up as a sleaze ball.

Be VERY careful of your own rep right now.. this is like a political campaign and you are running for office.. you need a GOLDEN IMAGE out there right now.

a. No smoking
b. No drinking
c. Dress well
d. No losing temper in public

etc

Be a stirling image of adulthood while assassinating OM's character calmly with fact after fact...

Do NOT TEXT people.. talk in person.. go meet them for lunch, etc.. Buy them lunch.. show people you aren't HIDING or AFRAID of this guy and that you have no respect for him...

Paint him out as a creep to everyone you can.

Re those who don't support you :

1. It is crises like these where you learn who your REAL friends are
2. As sandi said - who cares about the people who support what OM is doing... you can DROP them later on when the storm clears, they clearly are NOT reliable in a storm.
3. If you are worried about your public image I would worry about the man attacking your marriage... THAT is more humiliating than you backing down and hiding. OM is humiliating you right NOW.. you think fighting BACK respectfully with FACTS makes you look WORSE? It makes you look like a damn ADULT and a FATHER... Maybe your community hasn't seen any lately so ya, they may find it a bit odd...

Educate them what a MAN LOOKS LIKE in the community.. OM is clearly NOT fitting the bill...

Where do you live? I get the impression this is a very small town... that's good if it is...

Gossip spreads much more quickly in smaller towns and reputation is a lot more important...